The printable version is no longer supported and may have rendering errors. Please update your browser bookmarks and please use the default browser print function instead.
Shark Club comedian
Proto id 00000065 (Average Peasant)
The Shark Club commedian is the poorly chosen entertainer of Shark Club in Fallout 2
Background A crappy stand-up comic, with a very nervous demeanor. He tries to impress the audience with his wit, but is usually achieving the exact opposite.
Interactions with the player character Interactions overview
This character has no special interactions.
Other interactions The comedian cannot be interacted with, but can be witnessed plying his trade in front of the audience.
Comic routine Note: All routines are read top to bottom, point by point. Indented points are audience reactions.
Radscorpions
So... uh... why did the radscorpion cross the road?
To get away from your boring ASS! I say we kill this guy! Cause the radscorpion... uh, it wanted to get away from the radioactive fallout particles ...
Uh, the joke, see, since it was already a mutant , it didn't need to cross the road, so... uh...
Ghouls
Heh-heh. Gecko... ghouls , right? Ghouls...man, do they STINK.
You stink! This guy should only be on Saturday nights! Uh... heh-heh... so, uh, ghouls right, they smell bad. So, like, uh... Did I mention ghouls stink? Um, so I find this ghoul, right, I ask, 'Are you guys envious that I don't stink?' He goes, "No. Uh, why do you ask?" I said, because you're GREEN. Uh... green with envy. Get it?
Prostitutes
So... there was this prostitute , right, this stupid slut...
"Slut?" I'm going to stab you to death after the show! And... uh... she goes, right, she goes, 'is that a Gecko in your pocket or are you just... uh, horny?' Uh... did I mention it was a fire-breathing Gecko ...? Heh-heh.
Vertibirds
Vertibirds ?Verti what? What the hell is this guy talking about? How about those little bags of peanuts they serve on flights? How about the salami you get served? What's... up with that?
Optional traits
Optional traits?
You know, like jinks . Anybody seen these lately?
Anybody seen your pencil dick lately? Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?" Who... are these people?
Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.
Rad-scorpions again
Radscorpions? What's so rad about them?
It's short for RADIATION, asshole. Who are these people that think mutated scorpions... Are so rad?
Mole rats
Molerats ?Oh boy... What's up with these things? Are they moles... Or... Are they RATS? And what about pigrats ? What is up with that? Uhhh... yeah, what is up with that?
Super mutants
Super mutants ?Does this asshole ever stop telling these stupid jokes? What's so SUPER about them? When was the last time you saw a super mutant... Get a cat out of a tree? Never! Know why?
Uhhh... because super mutants don't rescue cats... They kill mercilessly!
Wish someone would kill you mershssmbl... So who calls them SUPER mutants? Who are these people?
Probably the same idiots who hired you!
Myron This routine is only played if Myron is present in the player's party.
And what about that dork, Myron?
Myron: Is he talking about me? I mean, what a geek! It's like he's lived in his parents' basement ALL his life.
*Ha* *Ha* *Ha* Myron: Hey! Well, Myron, you ARE a dork.
Chosen One : Don't worry about it, Myron. He's just trying to be funny. Myron: Yeah, you're just lucky I don't kick your ass, pal!
Enclave This routine only plays after the completion of the game.
Heh-heh. Did you hear the one about the tribal who wiped out the Enclave ? The tribal was sooo stupid that, uh, the tribal, right... uh, blew up their rig . BOOM! Did I mention the tribal was stupid?
You're the one who's stupid!
Bishop daughter This routine plays, but due to a bug, the player never sees the line. The comedian explodes on stage once the script triggers, though.
So did you hear about the stupid Bishop daughter that got knocked up?
*Clap* *Clap* *Clap* ::Whistle:: Amazing!
Inventory
Apparel
Weapon
Carried items
Drops on death
empty
Behind the scenes When listening to the Shark Club comedian's horrible act, he will break the fourth wall and mention optional traits , Jinxed , and critical failures.[1]
Bugs Due to a bug, the text dictating the comedian's set about Angela Bishop become pregnant does not appear, but results in the comedian's death regardless.
Appearances The Shark Club commedian appears only in Fallout 2
References
↑ Shark Club comedian: "{5000}{}{Optional traits?}" "{5001}{}{*Yawn*}" "{5002}{}{You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?}" "{5003}{}{Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?}" "{5004}{}{Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"}" "{5005}{}{Who... are these people?}" "{5006}{}{Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.}" "{5007}{}{}" NcComedi.msg )
