The Vault - Fallout Wiki

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The Vault - Fallout Wiki
Shark Club comedian
Fo2 Shark Club Comedian.png
Biography and appearance
RoleComedian... unfortunately
LocationShark Club, New Reno
Dialogue FileNcComedi.msg
SPECIALStrength: 5
Perception: 4
Endurance: 6
Charisma: 4
Intelligence: 4
Agility: 5
Luck: 4
Derived StatsHit points: 33
Armor class: 5
Action points: 7
Carry weight: 150
Unarmed damage: 0
Melee damage: 1
Sequence: 8
Healing rate: 2
Experience points: 40
Normal DT/DR: 0/0%
Laser DT/DR: 0/0%
Fire DT/DR: 0/0%
Plasma DT/DR: 0/0%
Electrical DT/DR: 0/0%
EMP DT/DR: 0/500%
Explode DT/DR: 0/0%
Tag SkillsNone
Proto id00000065 (Average Peasant)

The Shark Club commedian is the poorly chosen entertainer of Shark Club in Fallout 2.


A crappy stand-up comic, with a very nervous demeanor. He tries to impress the audience with his wit, but is usually achieving the exact opposite.

Interactions with the player character

Interactions overview

This character has no special interactions.

Other interactions

  • The comedian cannot be interacted with, but can be witnessed plying his trade in front of the audience.
  • Comic routine

Note: All routines are read top to bottom, point by point. Indented points are audience reactions.


  • So... uh... why did the radscorpion cross the road?
    • To get away from your boring ASS!
    • I say we kill this guy!
  • Cause the radscorpion... uh, it wanted to get away from the radioactive fallout particles...
    • You suck!
    • FUCK YOU!
  • Uh, the joke, see, since it was already a mutant, it didn't need to cross the road, so... uh...


  • Heh-heh. Gecko... ghouls, right?, do they STINK.
    • You stink!
    • This guy should only be on Saturday nights!
  • Uh... heh-heh... so, uh, ghouls right, they smell bad. So, like, uh...
  • Did I mention ghouls stink?
  • Um, so I find this ghoul, right, I ask, 'Are you guys envious that I don't stink?'
  • He goes, "No. Uh, why do you ask?"
  • I said, because you're GREEN.
  • Uh... green with envy. Get it?
    • Booo!


  • So... there was this prostitute, right, this stupid slut...
    • Your Mom's a slut!
  • "Slut?" I'm going to stab you to death after the show!
  • And... uh... she goes, right, she goes, 'is that a Gecko in your pocket or are you just... uh, horny?'
  • Uh... did I mention it was a fire-breathing Gecko...? Heh-heh.


  • Vertibirds?
    • Verti what?
    • What the hell is this guy talking about?
  • How about those little bags of peanuts they serve on flights?
  • How about the salami you get served?
  • What's... up with that?

Optional traits

  • Optional traits?
    • *Yawn*
  • You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?
    • Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?
  • Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"
  • Who... are these people?
    • Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.

Rad-scorpions again

  • Radscorpions?
  • What's so rad about them?
    • It's short for RADIATION, asshole.
  • Who are these people that think mutated scorpions...
  • Are so rad?
    • You suck!

Mole rats

  • Molerats?
  • Oh boy...
  • What's up with these things?
  • Are they moles...
  • Or...
  • Are they RATS?
  • And what about pigrats?
  • What is up with that?
  • Uhhh... yeah, what is up with that?

Super mutants

  • Super mutants?
    • Does this asshole ever stop telling these stupid jokes?
  • What's so SUPER about them?
  • When was the last time you saw a super mutant...
  • Get a cat out of a tree?
  • Never! Know why?
    • *Yawn*
  • Uhhh... because super mutants don't rescue cats...
  • They kill mercilessly!
    • Wish someone would kill you mershssmbl...
  • So who calls them SUPER mutants?
  • Who are these people?
    • Probably the same idiots who hired you!


This routine is only played if Myron is present in the player's party.

  • And what about that dork, Myron?
    • Myron: Is he talking about me?
  • I mean, what a geek! It's like he's lived in his parents' basement ALL his life.
    • *Ha* *Ha* *Ha*
    • Myron: Hey!
  • Well, Myron, you ARE a dork.
    • Chosen One: Don't worry about it, Myron. He's just trying to be funny.
    • Myron: Yeah, you're just lucky I don't kick your ass, pal!


This routine only plays after the completion of the game.

  • Heh-heh. Did you hear the one about the tribal who wiped out the Enclave?
  • The tribal was sooo stupid that, uh, the tribal, right... uh, blew up their rig.
  • BOOM!
  • Did I mention the tribal was stupid?
    • You're the one who's stupid!

Bishop daughter

This routine plays, but due to a bug, the player never sees the line. The comedian explodes on stage once the script triggers, though.

  • So did you hear about the stupid Bishop daughter that got knocked up?
    • *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*
    • ::Whistle::
    • Amazing!


Icon armored vault suit.png
Assault carbine icon.png
Icon briefcase.png
Carried items
Icon male severed head.png
Drops on death

Behind the scenes

When listening to the Shark Club comedian's horrible act, he will break the fourth wall and mention optional traits, Jinxed, and critical failures.[1]


Due to a bug, the text dictating the comedian's set about Angela Bishop become pregnant does not appear, but results in the comedian's death regardless.


The Shark Club commedian appears only in Fallout 2.


  1. Shark Club comedian: "{5000}{}{Optional traits?}"
    "{5002}{}{You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?}"
    "{5003}{}{Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?}"
    "{5004}{}{Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"}"
    "{5005}{}{Who... are these people?}"
    "{5006}{}{Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.}"