It was back in '78 and me and Bessie - best 'bot a man ever had - we was u-ra-ni-um prospecting west o' here. We hadn't turned up a rad's worth o' beans when all of a sudden five - no, I'm sure it was ten - deathclaws jumped us.
"Saltbeef"[1] is a man of poor health an even poorer habits. He is grubby, has stringy hair, and his face is a network of bulging veins, a characteristic of a drunkard. He only has a total of three teeth in his mouth, to make things worse he smells bad as well.[2] He has lost track of time and his marbles don't seem to be all in order or one place. To anyone who shares some ol' firewater with Bob, he will recount his tale how in 2178 he happened upon Vault 13, the mother lode for a prospector, while looking for uranium west of Shady Sands. He allegedly fought deathclaws, melted his rifle, and lost his robot, Bessie. He also allegedly made a map that Doc Jubilee allegedly stole.[3]
Saltbeef's story does not quite make sense and differs rather radically from the history of the wasteland. What is known for sure is that ever since stumbling into town, he wasted away, drinking and working for Roger Westin who kindly took him in as a part-time cook.[4]
↑ 1.01.11.2The Chosen One: "{105}{}{Who are you?}" Saltbeef Bob: "{106}{}{Name's Bob. Saltbeef Bob, yep. How about you?}" The Chosen One: "{109}{}{Saltbeef? What kind of name is that?}" Saltbeef Bob: "{131}{}{Tarnation, it's a good and honest name, is what it is! The boys let me do some cooking around here and if you weren't such a tinhorn you'd know that and know to respect yer elders.}" The Chosen One: "{133}{}{Well bite me, old timer!}" Saltbeef Bob: "{135}{}{Well bite me, too! Now yer talking. Don't take no lip from nobody, pardner!
Say, you got any hooch on ya? Just a little sip?}" (Scsalbob.msg)
↑Saltbeef Bob's character description: "{100}{}{You see an old grubby man with stringy hair.}" "{101}{}{It's the guy they call Saltbeef Bob}" "{102}{}{He's got about three teeth and a face criss-crossed with the little veins of a drunkard. He smells bad too.}" (Scsalbob.msg)
↑Saltbeef Bob: "{120}{}{(Gulp, gulp, gulp) Aaaahhhh! That's right fine of you, stranger! Fine person, indeed. Kind a man should have as his pardner. (Gulp) Did I ever tell you about the time I made my big strike?}" The Chosen One: "{121}{}{No?}" Saltbeef Bob: "{124}{}{It was back in '78 and me and Bessie - best 'bot a man ever had - we was u-ra-ni-um prospecting west o' here. We hadn't turned up a rad's worth o' beans when all of a sudden five - no, I'm sure it was ten - deathclaws jumped us.}" Saltbeef Bob: "{125}{}{They fought like hellcats. I fired so much I melted down my rifle barrel and was going at 'em knife to claw when old Bessie finally fused her last circuit board. Well, I tried to save her, but it warn't no use. Finally had to cut and run, keeping 'em off with rocks all the way.}" Saltbeef Bob: "{126}{}{Well, things looked bad when I stumbled into this cave. Thought I was a goner fer sure. Figured it was their lair - but I had me my torch so I went inside. Hoo-wee, it was a deep cave. And that's when I saw it.}" Saltbeef Bob: "{127}{}{It was a great big door, like them kinds you see in the old video flics. Big and made o' steel. An on it was carved a great, big 13!}" Saltbeef Bob: "{128}{}{I knew I'd found it, the mother lode, the Vault 13. I sat right down and made me a map. Damn near died getting out o' there, past them deathclaws and then the sun o' the desert and no water.}" Saltbeef Bob: "{129}{}{By the time I staggered into Shady Sands, I was mostly dead. Took me to the doc and fixed me up, but that doc stole my map. I knows it and that's all I gots to say.}" (Scsalbob.msg)
↑The Chosen One: "{105}{}{Who are you?}" Saltbeef Bob: "{106}{}{Name's Bob. Saltbeef Bob, yep. How about you?}" The Chosen One: "{109}{}{Saltbeef? What kind of name is that?}" Saltbeef Bob: "{131}{}{Tarnation, it's a good and honest name, is what it is! The boys let me do some cooking around here and if you weren't such a tinhorn you'd know that and know to respect yer elders.}" The Chosen One: "{132}{}{Sorry, old-timer didn't mean to rile you.}" Saltbeef Bob: "{134}{}{Rile me? Rile me! You ain't seen me riled yet! Now jes' git outta my sight before you gets me really upset! Gwan! Git!}" (Scsalbob.msg)
