On Your Recent Noise Levels
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We couldn't help but notice that you have been entertaining houseguests for the past week. We have heard all kinds of loud music, banging noises, and shouting at all hours of the day and night.
While there is no longer a municipal police force to intercede on our behalf for this complaint, I think you will find that my sporting trophies for marksmanship, which you had always commented favorably about before the war, will be on your mind again soon if you do not cease this racket.