"And now for a brief look at the local weather. This weekend, unseasonably warm temperatures continue with a high of 56. But then we're looking at a cold front coming down from Canada, making it crisp and dry for next week's Halloween festivities. Looking in on next week's forecast, we have a high of 52 on Monday."
"It would also appear our troops stationed overseas are experiencing some unusual weather, as well. On the Island of Mambajao the nights are cold. Unseasonably so for Southeast Asia. But for the 5th Infantry, that's as comfortable as an Autumn jamboree. All the easier for our mechanized hellcats to drive any screaming Commie meamies right into the Bohol Sea."
"And now a look at sports. Something that is, unquestionably, inescapably, American. I am referring of course, to our great national pastime, baseball. This afternoon, right here in the city, Boston's swatting sultans will swing for the fences. Led by star pitcher Matt "The Missile" Murtagh, Boston hopes to defeat Texas, and deliver their first World Series victory since 1918."
"Turning to economic news of the day. Vault-Tec stock continues to rise as tensions with China reach an all-time high. With the world poised on the brink of war, Vault-Tec is reporting a record number of reservations in Vaults around the country. Vault-Tec announced a continuation of their popular "Welcome Home" promotion. They report openings are still available in area Vaults 81, 111, and 114. Since debuting Vault 76 last year, in honor of America's Tercentenary, Vault-Tec continues to expand with plans for well over 100 Vaults around the country."
"And now, our exclusive coverage of the continuing volatile situation with Communist China. Chinese forcesmay have finally been driven fromAnchorage, but the conflict has transitioned into a frighteningly tense stalemate. With diplomacy all but suspended, and conventional warfare taking a historic toll on both sides, many have wondered if the good old U-S-of-A hasn't finally entered into a fight it just can't win."
"Followed by... yes, followed by flashes. Blinding flashes. Sounds of explosions... We're... we're trying to get confirmation... But we seem to have lost contact with our affiliate stations... We do have... coming in... confirmed reports. I repeat, confirmed reports of nuclear detonations in New York and Pennsylvania. My God. Our soldiers were right: War. War never changes."
