The New Plague and YOU
Copyright and Distributed by Presidential Fitness Program 2059
Know the Signs!
Safeguard yourself and your community by knowing how to identify a person suffering from the New Plague. Common symptoms include:
- Profuse Sweating
- Unexplained Contusions/Swelling
- Massive External Hemorrhaging
- New Ideals, such as socialism
When you believe you’ve come into contact with a person exhibiting one or more or these tell-tale signs, remember to C I R:
C - Confirm Symptoms.
Approach the person suffering from symptoms if no Civil or Medical professional is available to do so. Verify that the subject is exhibiting symptoms of New Plague.
I - Isolate!
Once it’s been established that a case of New Plague may be present, separate yourself and the person exhibiting symptoms from the general population, as the New Plague is notoriously contagious.
R - Report!
Report directly to the nearest Federal Fitness Registry of Medical Center and let the professionals handle it from there!
The New Plague is what’s commonly known as a "social disease". This means that the New Plauge is especially contagious and can be commonly caught in the course of social interactions such as:
- Ice Cream Socials
- Cruising Main Street
- Promiscuous Activity/Sodomy
- Attending Fairs or Festivals
So; what’s the best protection against social diseases? Why not stay home and enjoy a novel or home-cooked meal? Limiting your exposure to other individuals is the best and more surefire way to avoid contracting the New Plague.
Did you know that your government can protect you from the New Plague and other biological dangers? It’s true, and all you need to do is visit your local Federal Fitness Registry. Friendly Federal Professionals will be on hand to take a few minor samples and enter you in the national registry.
Your compliance with the Federal Registry Program not only keeps medical professionals up-to-date on your medical history and status, but contributes to valuable research programs - and makes you eligible for special prizes, such as fuel rations or vacations to exotic domestic locales!