NOTICE TO PRANKSTER
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FROM: GEORGE WILTON
TO: WHOEVER KEEPS POKING HOLES IN THE BOTTOM OF MY KETCHUP BOTTLES
You know who you are! It's not funny! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get ketchup stains off white fabric?
This is worse when you jokesters put a hunk of gorgonzola behind the fridge and I didn't find it for a week. A WEEK!