Klein

Doctor Klein is a pre-War scientist and leader of the Think Tank operating the Big MT in 2281.

Background
Doctor Klein is a pre-War doctor and the chief head researcher of logistical operations and idea-ology at Big MT. Sometime after the Great War, he became a think tank to continue his work at Big MT. He seems to be overconfident in his intelligence, as he shows absolutely no grasp of the purpose or function of the advanced technology he tasks the Courier to retrieve.

Along with his original name and human memories, Klein has lost much of his knowledge of human anatomy, and refers to the Courier's fingers and toes as "penises". He is shown to fear and hate Dr. Mobius, although they were partners at one time. He seems to hold his colleagues in low regard, often ignoring their advice. At the end of Old World Blues, it is revealed that he orchestrated a plan involving stealing the Courier's brain in order for the Think Tank to escape their imprisonment in Big MT. He wished to go into the Mojave to conduct ruthless experiments on both the Wasteland and its denizens, much like the implementation of the Cloud in the Sierra Madre to test the chemical, Hazmat suits and Auto-Doc technology. <!-- // His home has looots of booze. Each scientist's home is a representation? of thier indiviual personality. // Klein: "I THOUGHT I HEARD THE PACIFICATION FIELD KICK IN. ALL RIGHT, SHHH. NOBODY. MOVE. I'LL HANDLE THIS. BE WARNED, INTRUDER! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE MIGHTY THINK TANK OF BIG MT, THE COLLECTIVE GENIUSES OF... WE... ...BY OPPENHEIMER, WHICH ONE OF YOU SELF-PROFESSED GENIUSES HAS BEEN ADJUSTING MY VOLUME KNOB? WHO WAS IT?! WAS IT YOU, 8?" 8: "@@[#-!!!!-#]@@! Klein: "OH, "DR. O," WAS IT? LIKELY STORY, O COULDN'T SPARK TWO NEURONS IF THEY WERE IN A LATTICE OF BIOMED GEL." 0: "*What? Me? Breaking news, Klein, it wasn't me - all right?! I am the robotical engineer, 8 is soundwaves, that's his "specialty."* *You always do this, you always demean me in front of guests! And it's not "O," all right, it's...!* ENOUGH!" Klein: "EITHER OF YOU DO IT AGAIN, IT'LL BE THE LAST TIME. NOW... NOW... ...GREAT. NOW I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SAYING... WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?"''

The Courier: "I... was at a theater, then... I was here. What is this place?" Klein: "DID... DID IT JUST SAY SOMETHING? ANYONE CATCH THAT? BOROUS, YOU WORK WITH ANIMALS, TRANSLATE." Borous: "-It's a LOBOTOMITE. Here! In the DOME!-" Klein: "OH, AS IF THIS SITUATION COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE, NOW WE'VE GOT LOBOTOMITES. {Dal-ah}DALA, GET THE SPRAY BEFORE IT EXCRETES ALL OVER EVERYTHING."

The Courier: " Dala: "Dr. Klein... if my hypothesis is correct, this Lobotomite is the repository of the brain we sent the signal to - the skinvelope once containing it. If so, it's proof that there may indeed be something beyond the Crater. Just look at it... the way it blinks. It's like a big hairless teddy bear." Klein: "I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DALA, I WANT TO KNOW WHY IT'S DOWN HERE. WITH ITS... ITS LIMBS ALL OVER EVERYTHING. AND... ARE THOSE... PENISES I SEE WRIGGLING ON ITS FEET? DISGUSTING." Dala: "I believe those are toes, Dr. Klein. Little teddy bear toes. Penises are much larger than those tiny extremities... Eh, not that I would know." 0: "*I don't recall the human penis ever being that large.*" Dala: "It depends on one's own frame of reference, Doctor O. Look at its little nose with its two orifices for ingesting oxygen. Klein: "NOSES? BY THE GREAT STATIC, THESE LOBOTOMITES CONFOUND ME WITH THEIR SHEER NUMBER OF USELESS EXTREMITIES."

The Courier: " [SUCCEEDED] NOW IT'S HOLDING UP AN ARRAY OF FULLY-ERECT HAND PENISES. IF IT TRIES TO INSERT THEM, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS." Borous: "-Dr. Klein, WAIT! I... I don't believe those gestures were random. Random AT ALL.- -It's been following our conversation! The Lobotomite... understands us!-" Dala: "I agree with Borous' histrionic findings. This little Lobotomite is unusually attentive for something whose brain has been extracted." Klein: "NONSENSE. LOBOTOMITES CAN'T COMPREHEND US." 8: "@@[=$+<_--*]@@?" 0: "*8, have you been in the Mentats again? If we slow down our auro-processo-receptors to understand this excretion, we'll all be rendered ignorant!* Klein: "ALL OF YOU, POWER DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LET ME PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL HOW WRONG YOU ALL ARE. AS USUAL. LOBOTOMITE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? CAN YOU SPEAK?"''

The Courier: "Yes. I'm guessing that crashed satellite was yours?" Klein: "THOSE WERE WORDS, WEREN'T THEY? IN THE FORM OF QUESTIONS. IT'S ASKING ME QUESTIONS. IS THIS SOME KIND OF TRICK?" Borous: "-Our efforts have turned against us! In playing GOD, we created a MONSTER!-" Dala: "Perhaps as we were ruthlessly lobotimizing it with our cutters, we filled this skinevelope with... awareness. A teddy bear with new stuffing." 0: "*Wait. If what you're theorizing is this Lobotomite understands us... can reason with us...*" Klein: "THEN THIS MAY BE JUST THE ANSWER WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. AT LAST, A CHANCE TO..." 8: "@@[#-!!!!-#]@@!" Borous: "-Dr. Klein! A TRANSMISSION from the FORBIDDEN Zone! Coming right at US!-" Klein: "IT CAN ONLY BE..." Mobius: "If it isn't my old colleagues, the mighty "Think Tank" of Big MT. Big fools, all of you. It is I, Dr. Mobius, transmitting from my dome-shaped... dome in the Forbidden Zone. A zone... that is, yes... forbidden to you. Even now, my deadly Robo-Scorpions swarm across Big MT with their pincers and pointy laser tails. Soon, all Science will be mine. Even the technologies sealed in the Big MT research centers cannot save you. So cower in your "Think Tank." Wait, for the end. That's all. Goodbye." Klein: "MOBIUS. ALWAYS THE SAME BROADCAST. HE'S CLEARLY MAD, DRIVEN INSANE BY HIS FLAWED AND IMPRECISE KINDERGARTEN-LEVEL RESEARCH METHODOLOGY. 0: "*What are we going to do? There's no way we can breach the Forbidden Zone. There's those robot scorpions everywhere!*" Borous: "-The FORBIDDEN ZONE, where no brain has EVER entered! Nor ever RETURNED.-" Dala: "Except Dr. Mobius. And the technologies that could save us, they are out of our reach." Klein: "AND DR. MOBIUS MOCKS US. DID YOU SEE HIS CRACKED MONITOR? HE'S CLEARLY LET HIMSELF GO." 8: "@@[=$+<_--*]@@? @@[*.......]@@... @@[$((*&^#%]@@. 0: "*What? Ask the Lobotomite for help? 8, I think you need the fluid levels in your logic-assist-pumps checked.*" Dala: "If this Lobotomite responded, Dr. Klein, then it is clearly intelligent, perhaps even displays heretofore unknown levels of helpfulness." Borous: "-But what of its brain? We scooped that out! We don't even know where we left it! And for putting it back in... none of us have the knowledge!-" Dala: "Yes, but it's still aware and responsive. Look at it... it's regarding us even now, with its big teddy bear eyes. If we ask it politely and leave the part about the unnecessary ruthless lobotimizing out, it might be favorably disposed to us."

The Courier: "You removed my brain?" Dala: "We removed your brain, yes. So soft. Barely wrinkled, yet so... flush with knowledge and experience. Brain extraction technology has been standard practice at Big MT for an immeasurable amount of time." Borous: "-Once the brain was out, then came the COILS. The TESLA coils... the coils of NIKOLA Tesla.-" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@. @@[*.......]@@... @@[$((*&^#%]@@. 0: "*Yeah, 8, no need to brag. Wherever your brain is, it's transmitting thoughts to you through the... what... the, um... uh...*" Borous: "-The TESLA COILS! In its HEAD!-" Dala: "This is fortunate in many respects. If your brain was anywhere in the Dome, why, you could access your aggression centers." Klein: "CIRCUMVENTING THE PACIFICATION FIELD. THIS IS A NO-NO. WE HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A FIGHT. WE DO NOT WANT THAT." Borous: "-Reminds me of my days in American High.} And Richie Marcus.-"''

The Courier: "That doesn't explain the laser-sutures on my chest... and on my spine." Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] DALA. WAS IT NECESSARY THIS TIME? Dala: "That is my responsibility. Although in truth, the Auto-Doc had done most of the work already. Quite industrious, almost cut into all my investigations. Once it had removed the brain and I misplaced it, other organs began to cry for direction using your nerves as telegraph wires." Borous: "-First, was the HEART!- -Wait, I mean... SECOND was the heart. Brain was first. THIRD... was the SPINE.-" 8: "@@[*.......]@@... @@[$((*&^#%]@@." Borous: "-Wait, I mean... SECOND was the heart. Brain was first. THIRD... was the SPINE.-" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@? @@[$((*&^#%]@@." 0: "*Spine. Totally overrated, that arrangement of vertebrae.* *"Look at me, with my lumbar and thoracic curvature." Never had a use for any of that. Spineless is what I prefer.*"''

The Courier: "You took out my brain, heart, and spine?" Klein: "THAT AUTO-DOC-JUNKHEAP WAS ONE OF MOBIUS' CREATIONS, LIKE THE REST OF THE TALKING SCRAP METAL IN THE ATTIC." 0: "*After that, the brain lost itself - not in the metaphysical sense. Might have gotten flushed into one of the pipes. Actually, that's pretty likely.*" Borous: "-If so, it was FLUSHED all the way to MOBIUS! Fwooooooosh! That... is the sound of FLUSHING.-" Klein: ''"BY THE FISSURE OF ROLANDO... ENOUGH OF THIS BIOLOGICAL SURGERY TALK. LOBOTOMITE, LISTEN TO MY VOICE. IT DENOMINATES ME TO ASK, BUT... WE NEED YOUR HELP. IN MOST PROBABLE OF PROBABILITIES, OUR ENEMY, MOBIUS, HAS YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS NOT GOOD. HE WILL MOST LIKELY COME AFTER OUR BRAINS NEXT. WE WANT YOU TO STOP HIM. SOMEHOW. WITH SCIENCE.

The Courier: "You said something about needing technologies to stop Mobius?" Klein: ''"YES. IT IS OUR ONLY CHANCE, A DESPERATE PLAN THAT CAME TO US AFTER MOBIUS' FIRST BROADCAST. MAYBE... JUST MAYBE... IF WE RECLAIM THESE BURIED TECHNOLOGIES, WE CAN PUT AN END TO MOBIUS AND THE HORRORS SPAWNING FROM THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.

The Courier: "What exactly is the plan? You're losing me in the generalities, I need specifics." Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] THE PLAN IS VERY COMPLICATED. WE ARE STILL CALCULATING HOW IT WOULD WORK IF IT SUCCEEDED. THAT IS OUR PART OF THE PLAN."

The Courier: "Why me? Can't you do it?" Klein: "UM. NO." The Courier: ""No?" Why not?" Dala: "You... are equipped to retrieve the technologies with your primitive form. We are not." 0: "*It's kind of embarrassing. You have hands. And... uh, a heartbeat, sort of. And eyes. Mostly the hands. There's door handles, and lockers, and...*" Klein: "ENOUGH. WE NEED YOUR HELP. WILL YOU HELP US?"

The Courier: "I'll help. What do you need me to do?" Klein: "EXCELLENT. THIS IS TURNING OUT MUCH BETTER THAN THE ACTIVATE-THE-RETREAT-PROTOCOLS-AND-COWER-IN-MY-ROOM IDEA I HAD EARLIER." 0: "*Agreed. O, and I've used my robotical knowledge to um... eh... transmit the... radio map waves to...*" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@." 0: "*Settle down, 8, I would have gotten it in a second, all right?! 8's transmitted the last known coordinates of the research centers. They, um...* *They... well, move sometimes. Or get buried. Or blow up.*" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@." Klein: "8 IS CORRECT. ALL WE NEED ARE THE SCHEMATICS. THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE DO NOT WANT THE COLD, HARD TECHNOLOGY, HOWEVER. SO DO NOT GIVE INTO YOUR BIOLOGICAL TIRED-LAZINESS AND DECIDE YOU WOULD SWEAT TOO MUCH CARRYING THEM. YOU HAVE A NEW SPINE. USE IT. AND EVEN IF YOU DIE IN THE ACT OF RECLAMATION, SIMPLY REACHING THEM WILL AUTO-TRANSMITIFY THE SCHEMATICS TO US. THAT IS STILL GOOD. FOR US."

The Courier]]: "This whole place sounds dangerous. These devices sound dangerous." Klein: "NONSENSE. THIS PLACE IS NO MORE DANGEROUS THAN A NUCLEAR DETONATION SITE, OUR TECHNOLOGIES NO MORE LETHAL THAN AN OVERCHARGED TESLA CANNON. THE TECHNOLOGIES ARE THE X-2 TRANSMITTER ANTENNA ARRAY, USED TO FOCUS COHERENT THOUGHT AT EXCESSIVELY HIGH FREQUENCIES." Borous: "-The psycho-analytic cardiac-dampening sneaky stealth suit, a suit like NOTHING this world has ever heard, seen, or could EVER see!-" 8: "@@[<*$(^=)#]@@!" Dala: "...and 8's Sonic-Soundwave-Emitter-Projecto-Gun, able to broadcast sound at lethal frequencies. It also gives a great biogel massage." Klein: "THERE. WE HAVE INFORMED YOU OF ALL WE NEED. WE ESTIMATE IF YOU ARE FOCUSED, YOUR TIME INVESTMENT WILL BE MINIMAL. EH, BY OUR STANDARDS. IF YOU WORK QUICKLY, YOU WILL BE THE RECIPIENT OF A GESTURE OF GRATITUDE FROM US. WE DO NOT BESTOW THESE OLD WORLD GESTURES LIGHTLY."

What are these technologies?" Klein: "NONSENSE. THIS PLACE IS NO MORE DANGEROUS THAN A NUCLEAR DETONATION SITE, OUR TECHNOLOGIES NO MORE LETHAL THAN AN OVERCHARGED TESLA CANNON. THE TECHNOLOGIES ARE THE X-2 TRANSMITTER ANTENNA ARRAY, USED TO FOCUS COHERENT THOUGHT AT EXCESSIVELY HIGH FREQUENCIES." Borous: "-The psycho-analytic cardiac-dampening sneaky stealth suit, a suit like NOTHING this world has ever heard, seen, or could EVER see!-" 8: "@@[<*$(^=)#]@@!" Dala: "...and 8's Sonic-Soundwave-Emitter-Projecto-Gun, able to broadcast sound at lethal frequencies. It also gives a great biogel massage." Klein: "THERE. WE HAVE INFORMED YOU OF ALL WE NEED. WE ESTIMATE IF YOU ARE FOCUSED, YOUR TIME INVESTMENT WILL BE MINIMAL. EH, BY OUR STANDARDS. IF YOU WORK QUICKLY, YOU WILL BE THE RECIPIENT OF A GESTURE OF GRATITUDE FROM US. WE DO NOT BESTOW THESE OLD WORLD GESTURES LIGHTLY."''

The Courier: "The faster I can get through this, the better. Klein: "OUR INTENTIONS EXACTLY. THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU RUSH QUICKLY THROUGH THIS TASK SO AS NOT TO WASTE OUR TIME. DO NOT GET CURIOUS OR YOU WILL END UP LIKE THE CAT OF SCHRÖDINGER." Dala: "We feared you would be tempted to explore Big MT Crater and examine the many amazing non-mandatory research labs that lie off your designated path. The many such optional explorations are discouraged. Work hurriedly, as if you have blinders on, and leave curiosities and items of interest alone." Borous: "	-So many sciences and developments! Pass them by! Let impatience and the desire to simply finish, to end it all, quickly and carelessly guide you!-" 8: "@@[<*$(^=)#]@@!" 0: "*Right you are, 8. In our test results, we'll make a note about how quickly you ran our maz... er, exper... Nobel... challenge.*" Dala: "After all, there will be plenty of time afterward to partake of the experiments once our bidding is done.

The Courier: "Then can you help me get this done as quickly as possible? Sounds like a lot of walking. Klein: "AH, THAT IS CORRECT. YOU MUST WALK UPON YOUR MANY-PENISED FEET. MUCH SLOWER THAN OUR ADVANCED HOVERING ROBOTICAL FRAMES. Dala: ''"The little teddy bear could always run right into the pylon perimeter on its thick, turgid feet, returning it to us quickly and erectly - directly.

The Courier: "Pylons? What pylons?" Klein: "THE RADAR FENCE THAT SURROUNDS THE BIG MT CRATER WILL PREVENT - ER, PROTECT YOU FROM STRAYING BEYOND THE FACILITY." Borous: "-The mighty radar fence protects us ALL! Get too close to the blinking posts, and the proximity warning shall be your... WARNING you are too close!-" 0: "*If you get near it, your vision will blur as the electrodes in your head shut off one by one, click click click.*" Dala: ''"Possible memory loss will occur along with long-term nerve degradation. It is tied to not having a brain attached to your nervous system. But the nerve degradation is nothing to worry about - such degradation would take many lifespans to become evident. And all biology dies. Such tiny inconveniences are less than the greater convenience - and conveyance. You see, if rendered unconscious by the pylons, you will be returned to the Sink, seemingly instantaneously by your deadened perceptions.

The Courier: "So I can't leave?" 0: "*O... Doctor Klein... Doctor Klein? If I may intersect for a moment.*" Klein: "WHAT IS IT? THE LOBOTOMITE IS ASKING ME THINGS, O, AND I AM TRYING TO IGNORE THEM. MY PROCESSORS CAN'T IGNORE YOU BOTH AT THE SAME TIME." 0: "*Well... you know how we asked it to fetch the Sonic Emitter thing? Turns out we already have it. What are the odds?*" Klein: "WHAT IS THIS, A HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR?! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, YOU'RE MAKING US LOOK LIKE A COLLECTION OF ROUND-EARTHERS!" 0: "*You're always yelling! My receptors can't take it anymore - and neither can my feelings!*" Klein: "I AM YELLING BECAUSE YOU CONTAMINATED SPECIMENS CAN'T KEEP YOUR PROBES OFF THE VOLUME KNOB ON MY VOICE MODULE!"

The Courier: "If you have the gun already, I don't understand what you need." Klein: "IT IS TRULY THE END OF ALL INTELLIGENCE WHEN THE LOBOTOMITE SPEAKS MORE WISDOM THAN YOU "GENIUSES." SO - IF WE HAVE THE SOUNDWAVE... SONIC... PROJECT-O THING GUN... THEN WHAT IN HEISENBERG'S NAME DO WE NEED FROM X-8?! ANYONE?!" Dala: "I believe we need a new frequency embedded into the gun. It was designed to broadcast many sounds once charged. We just don't know the frequency." Borous: "-And it is LOST in X-8! Just as X-8 is forever lost to us! The sadness of my high-school days! The sadness of my YOUTH, MY youth! LOST!-" 0: "*O really, Borous? All you did in High School was Commie fink-tattle-tale on all the kids you hated, you little teacher's pet brown-hound.*" Klein: "GIVE. THE. LOBOTOMITE. THE. EMITTER. DOES IT HAVE AN AUDIO EFFECT FREQUENCY LOADED?" 8: "@@[.......!]@@" 0: "*O... I don't think so. Wait...*" 8: "@@[.......!]@@ @@[...!...!]@@" Klein: "WHAT IS HE DOING?" 0: "*I think he's sonjaculating into the gun. Getting it... warmed up.*" 8: "@@[.!.!.!.!]@@ @@[!.!!!!.!]@@ @@[.!!!!!!.]@@ @@[!!!!!!!!]@@ @@[!.......]@@" 0: "*Ding... turkey's done.*" Klein: "YOU GIVE IT TO THE LOBOTOMITE. I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT THING." 0: "*O, I don't think so.*" Dala: "I'll do it if you two are going to be ashamed of your own technological needs. Let me give it a little sonic sterilization first... wooOOOoooOOO... all right, all anti-bacterial fresh. Here, my little Teddy Bear. I have thoroughly removed all RobCo termlink code spew from the device. It is clean, shiny, and ready for your hands."

The Courier: "This sonic gun looks like an energy projectile. Got anything that spits lead?" Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] WHAT DID IT SAY? SPIT "LEAD?" WHAT, LIKE PENCILS?" 0: "*O... I think it wants a combustion pistol.*" Borous: "-A GUN! Are you MAD?! We can't give it a GUN! GUNS kill, leave big open holes in you that are like sores but WORSE.-" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@." Dala: "Dr. 8 is correct. We already have given the teddy bear a lethal sonic death ray filled with his sonic ejaculate and sterilized by my soft WooWOOing. Giving the teddy bear a gun would be the equivalent of following a glass of hemlock with an Abraxo chaser. Delicious and redundantly deadly. " Klein: "IF WE'RE GOING TO BRING THE SOCRATIC METHOD INTO IT, FINE. GIVE THE LOBOTO-BEAR A COMBUSITON GUN. BOROUS? DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" Borous: "-Are you MAD?! We can't give it a GUN! GUNS...- -...wait, I said that already. Yes, I have THE Cyberdog Gun. With the little floppy metal ears and the curious nose sensor. Here.-" Klein: "FINE. DONE. THAT GUN MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE ANYWAY, ALWAYS WORRIED ITS GOING TO HUMP MY CHASSIS. ANYTHING ELSE, LOBOTOMITE?"

The Courier: "Um, this gun looks really hungry. I'd like to make sure it gets fed lots of bullets." Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] FINE. BOROUS, MORE AMMO. THE GOOD STUFF." Borous: "-Top shelf ammunition. Let's see... hollow point, that's worthless but tasty... oh, and here's some Jay-F-Pee. As if bullets need jackets.undefined- -The JFP might make it ill and poop a lot, but when you're hungry, you're hungry.-"

The Courier: "If there's nothing more, I need to stop Mobius." Klein: "FINE. SO... YES. GET THESE THINGS FOR US. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO COMPREHEND THEIR COMPLICATED SCHEMATICS. THAT IS FOR US TO DO."

The Courier: "I'll head out, then, and be back with these... things." Klein: "WELL. GOOD. WHAT ARE THE TOKEN WORDS SPOKEN IN THIS CASE... UH... "THANK YOU?" YES - THANK. YOU." Dala: "Wait, is it leaving? Uh, but... eh, Dr. Klein, the Lobotomite will need rest. Recuperation. Things like that. I volunteer my chambers so it might be stared at, my monitor radars slowly scanning its form to collect sensitive data." Borous: "-NO! That would put it too CLOSE to us! It could press BUTTONS, turn lights ON and OFF, and worse, let OTHER Lobotomites in!-" 0: "*We could give it Mobius' old room. It's where its brain got scooped out anyway, and plus, some of its parts are already there.* *Might be more comforting for it to hang out with its spine and heart. Home is where the heart is, after all.undefinedSee what I did there? Went literal.*" Klein: "I SUPPOSE. WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE THAT COUCH OUT OF THERE, BEEN PUTTING THAT OFF TOO LONG.	" 8: "@@[$((*&^#%]@@." 0: "*8 says let the Lobotomite take the Sink Central Intelligence Personality Chip and re-install it.* *That stuffy Mobius-programmed butt-ler can walk the Lobotomite, feed it, barter with it for us.*" Dala: "It would also prevent it from going to Higgs Village and taking up residence there. With my teddy bears. And it would be nice to have it so... close." Klein: "YOUR LOGIC COMBINED WITH MY DESIRE TO KEEP THE THINK TANK LOBOTOMITE-FREE HAS SWAYED ME. HERE, I PRESENT THE SINK CENTRAL "INTELLIGENCE." LOBOTOMITE, TAKE THIS CHIP TO THE SINK. PLUG IT IN, AND MAKE SURE THE CHIP IS CLEAN, OR IT COULD SKIP. THEN MAKE WHATEVER CRUDE BIOLOGIC DEMANDS YOU NEED OF THE SINK. IT WILL CATER TO MOST OF YOUR HORMONAL WHIMS."

I can trade with the Sink Intelligence? Then I'll need something to activate that function, won't I?" Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] I CANNOT DISPUTE YOUR LOGIC. DO WE HAVE OBJECTS TO ACTIVATE THE CHIP'S EXCHANGE ROUTINES?" 0: "*What? Like... stuff? Things?*" Klein: "YES. THINGS." 0: "*I don't know... might be some old Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla bottlecaps lying around. It... It's not "currency" per se...* *Still, might be enough to trick the Sink's trade routines. Mobius put that test line for caps in the code as a debug command, I think.*" Dala: "I don't believe that was Mobius' reason. His wild speculation concerning post-holocaust economic systems was quite extensive. And of high decibel." Klein: "ENOUGH! SURRENDER THESE SO-CALLED BOTTLECAPS, NUKA AND SUNSET ALIKE. IN THEIR ROLE AS THINGS, THEY WILL SERVE AS ADEQUATE TEST SUBJECTS." 0: "*All right, all right. Here. Cap away. Hope that stupid chip chokes on them.*"''

The Courier: "This amount clearly represents a deficiency in the amount of caps needed." Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] AGAIN, YOUR LOGIC IS UNASSAILABLE IN ITS SIMPLISTIC NEED. O?"

Um... excuse me, do you have any more? [FAILED] NO. IF THOSE DON'T WORK, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO SELL IT YOUR NOSE OR SOME OF YOUR PENISES.

So just plug it into the circular map-thing in the Sink upstairs? YES. YOU MAY NEED TO WIGGLE IT IN A BIT, BUT DON'T FORCE IT. WE CAN'T RE-CODE THEM IF YOU BREAK IT. THERE IS NO MORE WE CAN DO TO AID YOU AND OUR PATIENCE LEVELS ARE DEPLETED. NOW GO. REST IN THE SINK IF YOU MUST. BUT LEAVE US TO OUR RESEARCH. NVDLC03Dia_NVDLC03Dialogue_000160AF_2 Topic	NVDLC03DialogueKleinNVDLC03DoctorKleinLVLTopic054	So just plug it into the circular map-thing in the Sink upstairs? OF COURSE. GO MAN YOUR SCIENCE STATIONS. GO! {Beat, to himself}I AM SURROUNDED BY CHILDREN.

This chip looks like it was mass-produced. Are there other chips? [SUCCEEDED] ARE THERE OTHER CHIPS?

Just one of these chips, huh? Guess they're rare. [FAILED] RARE? I GUESS. MIGHT BE MORE SOMEWHERE, I FORGET. I MEAN... SUCH KNOWLEDGE IS ENCRYPTED DEEP IN MY DATABANKS.

Did you say "barter?" [FAILED] NO, O DID. HE FAVORS THAT ARCHAIC TERM OF COMMERCE. I SEE NO NEED TO ELABORATE ON SUCH DATED METHODS OF MATERIAL GAIN.

I'll head out, then, and be back with these... things. {Debug: Cut if no variable and we're using a chip}YOUR LOGIC COMBINED WITH MY DESIRE TO KEEP THE THINK TANK LOBOTOMITE-FREE HAS SWAYED ME. HERE, I PRESENT THE SINK CENTRAL "INTELLIGENCE." NVDLC03Dia_NVDLC03Dialogue_000160CC_1 Topic	NVDLC03DialogueKleinNVDLC03DoctorOLVLTopic002	I'll head out, then, and be back with these... things. LOBOTOMITE, I HAVE SWITCHED ON THE PERSONALITY IN THE SINK. IT WILL BE ACTIVE WHEN YOU RE-ENTER. NVDLC03Dia_NVDLC03Dialogue_000160CC_2 Topic	NVDLC03DialogueKleinNVDLC03DoctorOLVLTopic002	I'll head out, then, and be back with these... things. MAKE WHATEVER CRUDE BIOLOGIC DEMANDS YOU NEED OF THE SINK. IT WILL CATER TO MOST OF YOUR HORMONAL WHIMS.

What is this place? THIS... IS THE THINK TANK, THE NERVE CENTER OF BIG MT, THE GREATEST RESEARCH CENTER KNOWN TO MAN. AND TO US. HERE, WE TEST AND TEST AND TEST SOME MORE, IN THE NAME OF... SCIENCE. ATOMIC POWER. NUCLEAR POWER. AND SCIENTIFIC POWER.

I've heard this place called the "Big Empty." YES, BECAUSE THE INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED SEE AN "M" AND A "T" NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND TAKE OCCAM'S RAZOR TO IT. WHILE YOU ARE HERE, YOU WILL REFER TO THIS PLACE PROPERLY - AND YOU WILL DO THE SAME WITH THE OTHER... SCIENTISTS HERE.

I'd like to know about the Forbidden Zone. THAT GLOWING RED SCAR? THAT LASER-LOBOTOMY-CANYON-MAZE CARVED IN THE LANDSCAPE AS IF BY SOME CHILD? IT IS MOBIUS' "FORTRESS." FROM THAT HEMORRHOIDAL FISSURE HE SENDS HIS "AMAZING" ROBO-SCORPIONS TO TERRIFY AND IRRITATE US. HMPH. HE ALWAYS TENDED TO THE DRAMATIC.

Can you tell me more about these pylons? ASK BOROUS. I BELIEVE HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE FENCE THAN ANY BRAIN. EXCEPT MAYBE MOBIUS. MOBIUS WAS INVOLVED IN THEIR CONSTRUCTION, IF I RECALL. BUT HE'S SUCH A HACK, HE PROBABLY WAS READING OFF OF BOROUS' NOTES AND SCHEMATICS.

I have some questions about this "brain extraction" you all performed. WELL, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO IT. WE TRIED TO CLEAN UP AFTER, AS ALWAYS, BUT USUALLY THE AUTO-DOC RUNS ON REMOTE. BUT WE PROGRAMMED IT. OR, MOBIUS DID. STILL, THIS NEW WRINKLE WITH THE TESLA COILS IN YOUR SKULL WAS UNEXPECTED. I MEAN WE PREDICTED WE'D HAVE A BREAK-THROUGH EVENTUALLY, BUT... DALA KNOWS MORE. SHE SUPERVISED YOUR SPINE-PEEL. AND THE HEART CIRCUMCISION. THEN DUMPED THEM BOTH INTO THE TANKS IN THE SINK ABOVE. QUITE SANITARY. SURE TOOK HER TIME. SHE ALWAYS TAKES LONGER THAN PROJECTED WITH LOBOTOMITE SURGERIES, NOT SURE WHY.

You said before that Mobius might have my brain? YES. IN ALL PROBABLE LIKELIHOODS, YES. POSSIBLY. THAT IT MAY HAVE GONE TO MOBIUS IS MERELY AN INKLING. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT IT MAY BE SOMETHING INVOLVING THE SURGERY CODE. ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW. ALL I KNOW IS IT MISPLACED ITSELF. OR IT FLOATED OFF. THEY GET INTO ROBOTS SOMETIMES AND GO ON A TEAR.

What's this Auto-Doc surgery code you mentioned? [SUCCEEDED] MOBIUS' LEGACY CODE WAS IN THE OLD AUTO-DOC, YES. IT FRIED ITSELF AFTER YOUR PROCEDURE, SO WE COULDN'T TELL FOR SURE. IT IS UNFORTUNATE. WE WOULD HAVE BENEFITED FROM KNOWING HOW THE BREAKTHROUGH OCCURRED. EVEN IF WE INSTALLED ANOTHER CHIP, THE INFORMATION IS LOST.

Mobius set up the Auto-Doc medical routines, so you think he's responsible for the post-organ-dump? [SUCCEEDED] YES. ALWAYS LEAVES BACKDOORS INTO THINGS, HAVE TO KEEP FINDING THEM AND CLOSING THEM. THE AUTO-DOC IS NOW ERASED OF HIS ROUTINES, IT WAS THOROUGH. ONLY MOBIUS WOULD KNOW FOR SURE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE PROCEDURE... PERHAPS. WELL, AND YOUR BRAIN, OF COURSE. IT WOULD KNOW AS WELL.

My brain would know? What do you mean? Come on. Brains cant' talk... well, most brains. IT CAN "COMMUNICATE" THE PROCEDURE WHEN WE EXAMINE IT. IT IS CONCEIVABLE TO TRACE ITS SURGICAL SCALPELPRINTS ONCE WE HAVE THE BRAIN. MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME BUT YOUR BRAIN HAS NO PAIN NERVES TO SCREAM AT US WHILE WE DISSECT IT. CONVENIENT. I DETEST SCREAMING IN MY LAB.

Why would Mobius want my brain? WHY DOES HE SEEK OUR DESTRUCTION? WHY DID HE BUILD ROBOT SCORPIONS WITH INTELLIGENCE-DRAINING STINGERS? IT IS BECAUSE HE HASN'T CLEANED HIS BIOGEL IN... A LONG TIME. CLEARLY, HE'S GOT SOME SORT OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CORROSION. HE'S MAD.

Why do I have this strange... passive sensation in here? IT'S A SIDE EFFECT OF THE CEREBRAL SCRUBBING. IT WON'T STOP YOU FROM EXCRETING - OR ASKING QUESTIONS, APPARENTLY. HAVE TO CORRECT THAT NEXT TIME. HORMONAL AGGRESSIVE TENDENCIES ARE ACTIVELY SUPPRESSED, HOWEVER. THEY ARE A NO-NO, AND NOT PERMITTED IN THE THINK TANK. THE SCRUBBING ALSO ENSURES YOUR SILENCE TO KEEP BIG MT SAFE. THIS FACILITY IS TOP SECRET, AND YOU CANNOT SPEAK OF IT TO ANYONE OUTSIDE OF BIG MT. SHOULD HAVE DONE IT WITH THE LAST BATCH. AND THE ANTI-AGGRESSION SCRUB.

Why the anti-aggression programming? But I like to fight. WE HAD TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AFTER THE LAST VISITORS. THEY CAUSED A GREAT DEAL OF DAMAGE IN A SHORT TIME. SHOULD HAVE MADE SURE THEY COULDN'T MENTION BIG MT ONCE THEY LEFT. AN OVERSIGHT.

Who were these visitors? DR. 8 AND DR. O COULD TELL YOU MORE. DR. O MORE THAN 8, THE BATTLE AGAINST THE VISITORS DAMAGED 8'S VOICE MODULE. SUFFICE TO SAY, THOSE VISITORS ARE UNWELCOME. THEY STOLE A GREAT MANY SECRETS AND MUCH TECHNOLOGY. IMPERTINENT. THEY ALSO BROKE ONE OF MY TRAINS.

Is this gun all? Uh, can't have enough guns, really. [FAILED] {DUPE}NO. WHAT ELSE CAN WE DENY YOU?

I'd rather have a good old-fashioned gun. [FAILED] {DUPE}NO. WHAT ELSE CAN WE DENY YOU?

Energy Cells have a high expenditure rate. Some extra reserve cells could offset that. [SUCCEEDED] HMMM. YES, I BELIEVE WATTZ ELECTRONICS TENDED TO MAKE THE BATTERY SHELF LIFE ON THE LOW END.

I could use some more... energy... stuff. [FAILED] NO. WHAT ELSE CAN WE DENY YOU?

Why can't you go out there and shut them down? OUT THERE? WE'RE NOT GOING OUT THERE. IT'S DANGEROUS. WE'RE SMART, NOT SUICIDAL.

Doesn't sound like my style. Maybe I'll do a little exploring. YOU WOULD NOT DARE. PERHAPS I CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND... USING THE GREATEST OF OUR SCIENCES. THE FENCE.

What if I take my time, explore the crater? WHAT ILLOGIC IS THIS?! KEEP YOUR FILTHY PENIS-TIPPED FEET OUT OF OUR LABS AND SECRETS!

The Courier: "Um... before I go "reclaim" this tech, are you sure your plan will work?" Klein: ''"[FAILED] WE ARE ALWAYS SURE IN WHAT WE DO. YOU MUST BE SURE IN WHAT YOU DO. WHICH IS GETTING THESE TECHNOLOGIES FOR US.

The Courier: "First, you scoop out my brain, now you want me to save you?!" Klein: ''"THAT IS CORRECT, YES. I HOPE YOU'RE NOT DEMONSTRATING RESENTMENT NOW. IF YOU ARE, WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.

The Courier: "No, I'm not going to help you." Klein: "OH." 0: "*Yes, Dr. Klein? What?*" Klein: ''"NOT YOU, O, YOU IDIOT! I MEANT "OH," IN THE SENSE OF "OH, I WASN'T PREDICTING IT WOULD RESPOND THAT WAY." CAN IT SAY NO?

The Courier: "But I hurt all over!" Klein: ''"[FAILED] MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE REMOVED ITS VOICE BOX, DALA. I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T, ACTUALLY.

The Courier: " Klein: "[FAILED] GREAT. NOW THE PENIS ON ITS HAND IS ACHIEVING ERECTION.

The Courier: " Klein: "[SUCCEEDED] WHAT... WHAT IS IT DOING? DID WE INSTITUTE ELECTROSHOCK? {Beat, horrified}OR IS IT EXCRETING?

The Courier: " Klein: "[FAILED] CLEARLY THERE WAS ELECTROSHOCK. JUST LOOK AT IT, ITS FACIAL TISSUES SAGGING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

-->

Quests

 * Old World Blues: After retrieving the required technologies, Dr. Klein wishes to see you for further instruction.
 * Sonic Emitter Upgrade: Klein wants you to go to the X-8 research center and take the Basic Institutional Test, which allows you to take the Advanced Institutional Test, which allows you to upgrade the sonic emitter, which takes down the force fields.
 * X-2: Strange Transmissions!: Klein would appreciate it if you would disable the X-2 transmitter.
 * X-8: High School Horror!: Klein asks you to retrieve the three student records from the X-8 unstitutional facility.
 * X-13: Attack of the Infiltrator!: Klein wants you to head to the X-13 research facility and find parts for the X-13 cardiac regulator sneak suit.
 * Welcome to the Big Empty: The player has to talk to Klein, as with the rest of the Think tank, to complete the quest.

Appearances
Doctor Klein appears only in the Fallout: New Vegas add-on Old World Blues.

Behind the scenes

 * His name is a reference to the mathematician Felix Klein who thought of the Klein bottle, a three dimensional non-orientable object in four dimensional space, an equivalent to the Mobius strip in a higher dimension.
 * The three perks that he can give the Courier (Heartless, Brainless, and Spineless) are references to The Wizard of Oz: the scarecrow was missing a brain, the tin man was missing a heart, and the lion was missing courage.