User:GuardianOfTheWastes/Funny chat sessions

Vault lingo
Wiedziałem = To replece the horrible IKR. In short, WZM.

Numero Uno
•	GuardianOfTheWastes Hi everyone :) •	 9:18 Scarface11235 Yello Guardy! •	 9:18 GuardianOfTheWastes Yella?! I ain't yella boy. Ya wanna take this outside?

•	 9:18 Scarface11235 You sure as hell is yella, yella!

•	 9:18 Scarface11235 Let's take it outside!

•	 9:18 Scarface11235 Biatch!

•	 9:19 GuardianOfTheWastes *Goes outside*

•	 9:19 Scarface11235 *Goes outside* •	 9:19 Scarface11235 *Goes into tall grass*

•	 9:19 GuardianOfTheWastes *Napalms tall grass*

•	 •	 9:19 Scarface11235 *Out of the tall grass, lots of-... •	 9:20 GuardianOfTheWastes *Shouts* It's the American Way.

•	 9:20 GuardianOfTheWastes Lots of fire on Scar, perhaps?

•	 9:21 Scarface11235 *Lots of Made men from the Vault mafia jump out of the tall grass*

•	 9:22 GuardianOfTheWastes A mafioso has to be of Sicilian or Italian decent Scar. Ugh, if you're going to make stuff up, at least make it believable...

•	 9:23 GuardianOfTheWastes *Pegs it for the mountain's caves*

•	 9:24 Scarface11235 *Mafiosos firing madly after you*

•	 9:24 GuardianOfTheWastes *Mafioso

•	 9:24 Scarface11235 *Bullets whistling all around Guardian, as he corrects Scar's spelling errors* <.<

•	 9:24 GuardianOfTheWastes There is just Mario.

•	 9:25 GuardianOfTheWastes *Whacks out his trusty Longue Carabine.

•	 9:25 GuardianOfTheWastes *Puts one in Scar's consigliere* •	 9:25 Scarface11235 *Takes cover behind some rocks*

•	 9:26 GuardianOfTheWastes *Shoots at nearby car which catches on fire*

•	 9:26 Scarface11235 *Pulls out Wattz 1000, and pulls a man wearing a Vox Pack behind the rock*

•	 9:26 Scarface11235 "You there, call down Marine Support!" Scar yells to the man*

•	 9:26 GuardianOfTheWastes *Shoots the random man first*

•	 9:27 Scarface11235 *Wilhelm scream*

•	 9:27 Scarface11235 "Damnit!"

•	 9:27 GuardianOfTheWastes Haha, I killed the hun ;)

•	 9:27 Scarface11235 *Takes the vox from his back, and contacs the fleet*

•	 9:27 DragonBorn96 *sighs*

•	 9:27 Scarface11235 "This is Scar, requesting marine reinforcement"

•	 9:27 Scarface11235 "NOW"

•	 9:27 GuardianOfTheWastes I'm so not yellow, you've had to call marines to try to kill me

•	 9:28 DragonBorn96 "Sorry Commander, our assets are all tied up"

•	 9:28 Scarface11235 "Bring me down at least a squad, or I'll have your heads!"

•	 9:28 Scarface11235 "DO IT!"

•	 9:28 GuardianOfTheWastes *Seems everyone is joining in. I'll have to get him now...*

•	 9:28 Scarface11235 *Fires madly at Guardian*

•	 9:29 Scarface11235 "Fleet, for every second I do not have a marine squad here, a platoon dies. Send. Me. A squad."

•	 9:29 GuardianOfTheWastes *Sets up his specialist sniper squad. Before he knows it, Scar is locked down*

•	 9:30 Scarface11235 *Stands up, hands behind head, dropping the pistol*

•	 9:30 GuardianOfTheWastes *Comes in fast on his awesome motorbike*

•	 9:30 Scarface11235 "So, Guardian, you have me. What now?

•	 9:31 GuardianOfTheWastes MP40 ready, "Drop to you knees you animal!"

•	 9:31 Scarface11235 *Drops to knees*

•	 9:31 GuardianOfTheWastes *3*

•	 9:31 Scarface11235 "You'll shoot me, Guardian?"

•	 9:31 JASPER42 *takes a picture*

•	 9:31 GuardianOfTheWastes "Well, I guess I win, lets go back and have a drink ;)"

•	 9:32 Scarface11235 "You're weak."

•	 9:32 Scarface11235 "You always have been."

•	 9:32 DragonBorn96 *Activates orbital bombbardement*

•	 9:32 Scarface11235 *Jumps at Guardian, kicking his rifle from his hands*

•	 9:32 GuardianOfTheWastes *Straps a block of C4 to Scars face, detonates and blows them both to hell*

•	 9:32 DragonBorn96 "Sorry Commander, this ship belongs to Chaos now."

•	 9:33 JASPER42 "*But alas, the C4 was a dud, and only blinded the pair for a short time*

•	 9:34 Scarface11235 *HUGGIES*

•	 9:34 JASPER42 *leaps across room and nuzzles*

•	 9:35 DragonBorn96 "We've lost the Commander." "Ah well, BOMB THE PLACE!"

•	 9:35 GuardianOfTheWastes *Knocks Scar out with a rock whilst he was preoccupied with his dud Mafioso*

•	 9:35 Scarface11235 *Cuddles*

•	 9:35 Scarface11235 *Whilst knocked out, apparently

•	 9:35 GuardianOfTheWastes *He awakes tied to a chair*

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 Lots of cuddling :3

•	 9:36 GuardianOfTheWastes "And I'm weak?"

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 <3 <3 <3 !

•	 9:36 JASPER42 *Sneaks up behind Guard and pistol whips him*

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 "Ye-... Yes."

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 "Weakling"

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 "Finish this, if you dare!"

•	 9:36 Scarface11235 "Spits Guardian in the face."

•	 9:36 GuardianOfTheWastes *Turns around, disarms Jasper and blows him away*

•	 9:36 JASPER42 *Ouch*

•	 9:37 Scarface11235 *Stands up*

•	 9:37 GuardianOfTheWastes "Should have shot when he had the chance"

•	 9:37 JASPER42 *Watches as Guard and Scar face each other*

•	 9:37 DragonBorn96 *Calls Scar from the fleet*

•	 9:37 DragonBorn96 "Commander? You there?"

•	 9:37 JASPER42 *pulls out .357 mag revolover*

•	 9:37 Scarface11235 *Pulls a butterfly knife, starts playing with it, whilst slowly advancing towards Guardian*

•	 9:37 Scarface11235 "I am, bufoon"

•	 9:37 GuardianOfTheWastes Shots Jasper six times, emptying the M1911

•	 9:37 JASPER42 *loads a single shot* *spinns barrel*

•	 9:38 Scarface11235 "Fleet, respond."

•	 9:38 JASPER42 *bleeds alot but is still slightly alive*

•	 9:38 Scarface11235 "Deploy."

•	 9:38 DragonBorn96 "En route."

•	 9:38 GuardianOfTheWastes Kills Scar with bare hands whilst he uses the radio

•	 9:38 DragonBorn96 "Brace for drop pod deployment."

•	 9:38 Scarface11235 <.<

•	 9:38 Scarface11235 You can't jsut say "Kills"

•	 9:38 Scarface11235 Silly person

•	 9:38 JASPER42 *raises Revolver* *coughs blood* "Fuck you, Fink* *aims at Guard and pulls trigger*

•	 9:38 BillyOcean he used a power word

•	 9:38 GuardianOfTheWastes I just did.

•	 9:39 Scarface11235 *facepalm*

•	 9:39 GuardianOfTheWastes *Strangles

•	 9:39 DragonBorn96 *Drop pods are empty*

•	 9:39 JASPER42 *As luck would have it, the single round was lined up and it shoots across the room and hits Guard right between the eyes*

•	 9:39 GuardianOfTheWastes Well, now we're all dead then.

•	 9:40 JASPER42 *As Jasper's life slipps away, he sees Guard fall to the ground and knows, he really fucked up this time*

•	 9:40 Scarface11235 Lulz

•	 9:40 JASPER42 *Fin*

Numero Duo
All at 12:30 9/10/2011:

•	Loyalart12: My kat is a kitteh. •	Scarface11235: I c •	 Scarface11235: Kewl story bro. •	Shadowrunner56: That's good to know, loyal •	Almighty Higgey: Riveting tale, old bean! •	Scarface11235: *Takes notes* •	Lucius Cusius: TELL IT AGAIN! •	Shadowrunner56: That's both cool and interesting, loyal •	Almighty Higgey: *Writes down in srs bizniss book* •	Scarface11235: *mumbles* two Ts in kitteh...*mumbles* •	Lucius Cusius: *eats popcorn •	Almighty Higgey: *Observes Al's invigorating note taking*

Quotes
Al Johansson:
 * "It's sad when Swedish teens can correct american English teachers."
 * "I'm in my couch, with two laptops on. My command centre. The command centre is IN it, not ON it. It's vulnerable whilst ON it."
 * "I have nothing against fudge."
 * "I don't give a shit about where it's from, it's still not English."
 * "Look, guys, we've made this for you. What do you think, do you want it?"
 * "Wha... that's crap, we don't want that!"
 * "Too late, we installed it whilst you were taking a dump."
 * "SPACE COMMIES FROM OUTER SPACE"
 * "DON'T TRUST THAT BILLY OCEAN! He goes under many names: Bill Sea... William Puddle."

Yes-Man:
 * "Because 0 comes before 1. But I suppose you knew that."
 * 'No it doesn't Yes'
 * "Well, I did fail maths, so I'll take your word for it." - He genuinely believed it too.

Liam S. Higgins:
 * "I'm the posh kind of Scottish person. By that I mean I can talk coherently."
 * "Oh shnapledaddy, Guard."

Ausir:
 * "Thanks for the socks." - After being present for nearly an hour, but not saying a word.

Rocco:
 * "I don't even know what the hell a Pokemon is."

Shadowrunner56:
 * "No fun allowed on chat when Jasper is here."

JASPER42:
 * "Scar, Americans are dumb rember"
 * ""Oh, I cant get on. That'll be Guard." *unbans self*"
 * "You should have Paul show up dressed in drag and try to sex everyone up."

Mr. Cartwright:
 * "The GM of real life is Stephen Fry."
 * "~ 		Cartman!,Rhonin13 has made $2 a chat moderator.            ~"

RamboRob196:
 * "As one of my favorite poets Ice Cube once said, "If the day does not require an AK, it is good." "

Fraze:
 * DragonBorn96 There is an easy test. Al
 * Scarface11235 Yus?
 * DragonBorn96 Do you like cock?
 * Scarface11235 Not really, no.
 * DragonBorn96 Then he is not gay. PROBLEM SOLVED

Kingclyde:
 * "not to mention when some meathead gets testy on someones talk page they should have the right to blank it"

Shurrender: Like, Facebook stalking. Or walking to someone's house."
 * "Do any of you pals stalk?