User:Five Dog

'Cause Two Dogs ain't enough, and Four is too low, it's me! Five Dog! Bringing you all the updates and edits your little hearts can handle! And now a public service announcement:

Don't feed the Enclave! That is all.

Hey kiddies, if you're looking for my Uncle: Captain Henry "Five Dog" Leyland then you are in the wrong place. That groovy guy chills out on the Mass Effect Wiki. If you thought I - Uncle Five Dog - was cool, then check out the Uncle of Uncle Five Dog!

Perhaps you're even wacky enough to be looking for Five Dog The Gangster! That guy is nice, but chills with some freaky dudes over at the Saints Row wiki. Check 'em out!

Or kids, if you're looking for Five Dog The Almighty God then you're in the wrong place. That kooky-cat hangs about on the Left 4 Dead wiki. Watch out though, he's very power hungry. Why don't you check him out? Or, stick with me, kiddies...

Lost?
If you're reading this, you're either lost, bored, or just wanted to visit the mighty Five Dog! Sadly, I can't be with you right now, I'm a little busy you see, Ol' Five Dog's toaster's been on the fritz! But I can point you in the direction of some other articles to keep you entertained! Have fun, kiddies! -- Five Dog ( Talk ){ Updates } 21:31, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

So here we go....


 * Three Dog - Be sure to visit my brother Three Dog!
 * Galaxy News Radio - Three Dog also has his own station! Check it out.
 * Cigarette - This page was made by yours truly, but the good Vault citizens cleaned it up!
 * Toaster - I really should get a new one...
 * Psycho - Three Dog may like Jet, but I can't get enough of this.
 * John Henry Eden - That cat is just nasty. But I respect a true radio host.
 * Brotherhood of Steel - The good old Brotherhood. Fighting the Good Fight.
 * New California Republic - They may not like the Good Fight, but they sure are organised!
 * Lone Wanderer - That's right, that Tenacious Teenager from Vault 101!
 * Courier - It's all in a day's work for this postman.
 * Experimental MIRV - Even Five Dog can appreciate superior fire-power.
 * Mr. New Vegas - The Mojave Me! Except, you know, robotic..
 * Vault 101 - 101's humble beginnings!
 * Goodsprings - Where Couriers are family!
 * Tenpenny Tower - Now that is one kickin' place to chill.
 * The Mysterious Stranger - It turns out he wasn't a Psycho induced hallucination!
 * Megaton - This is where all the Dogs were born!
 * Canterbury Commons - Ever heard of the Mechanist?
 * Lucky 38 - Ever been in it?
 * Capital Wasteland - Where it all goes down!
 * Mojave Wasteland - Where the rest of it goes down!
 * Rivet City - The City of Hope!
 * New Vegas - The City of Money!
 * Primm - The other City of Money

Directions to Galaxy News Radio
OK Kids, this is how you can get to Galaxy News Radio and visit brother Three Dog! You are in the Capital Wasteland, right? First, my little wasteland warriors, go through the Tenleytown/Friendship Station which can be reached through Farragut West Station maintenance tunnels. Once you get to the station, head on in and make your way through to the Chevy Chase North access.

Outside you'll probably see the good ol' Brotherhood of Steel fighting the Good Fight. They'll be battling it out with those relentless Super Mutants. Head to the left into a bombed out building, once the Big Uglies are killed, (By you or your friendly neighbourhood Brotherhood), run off through the alley to a Super Mutant infested building. You'll probably meet some more of those kooky kids from the Brotherhood on the way. The last stop in this battle will be the GNR building, Kiddies. Where you might find the Brotherhood defending Three Dog's doors from more of those pesky Super Mutants.

Be careful, Three Dog's been telling me about some weird things goin' down there. He told me they had reports of a massive Mutant, like a giant, or some sort of Behemoth! Be careful, Kids. If he rears his giant ugly head, be on the lookout for some heavy fire-power!

That's it Kiddies, now you can always stop by GNR to take a break from the Wastes. Say hi to Three Dog for me!

Something I must now ask of you, my fearless fallout fighters. If you do stop by GNR, please, help that Dog out. He is in dire need of a hero who can handle the rumbles and tumbles of the wastes. In short, his signal is down and he can't get it running at full strength again. So, any rag-tag Wastelander that can make it there can give it a shot. I don't know the details, but he'll fill you in. Please, he really needs your help on this one. I'm sure you'd be well compensated.

How are you related to Three Dog?
Three Dog is my brother, man. He is my favourite brother ever since Four Dog and One Dog died. I mean, I like Two Dog, but Three Dog has the most style and charisma. I am a one of the greatest Dogs and have by far the most intelligence! I know, didn't see that coming, did you, children?

Can I find you somewhere in any game
No, sadly I wasn't even there when you could have possibly been there. And now that I am, you're off screwing around in the Capital Wasteland or throwing away your caps in the Mojave! In other words, sorry kiddies, I can't be reached by you just yet. Luckily, Three Dog is still in the Capital Wasteland and you can visit him instead!

Where were you born?
I, kiddies, was born in Megaton last, just after Four Dog. My parents were Sand Dog and Sun Kitten. Three Dog took over the family business of GNR. As the youngest, I was given a lot of attention and inherited the family fortune, 23 caps!

What is your favourite weapon, Five Dog?
Well kiddies, that is a tough one. I suppose the one I'd love to be able to use all the time is the Experimental MIRV. But I can't. So, in terms of fire-power, ammo efficiency, accuracy and durability, it would be the Scoped Gauss Rifle, or more specifically, kids, the Scoped Gauss Rifle brought out of the simulation. Oh yeah, even Five Dog's been in there, kiddies.

Do you have Good or Bad Karma?
The GOOD fight, kiddies. Got it? I am a very good karmic person. That's not to say I don't do bad things. Listen to Uncle Five Dog: If you can kill, lie, steal and be filthy rich and still be considered a good person, then you're set, baby. Heh-heh-heh.....

What's your take on New Vegas?
Oh, you mean that crazy Courier out in the Mojave Wasteland? Man, that guy is tearin' it up out there. Kickin' ass, takin' names - all that good stuff. That's not to say that he'll ever replace that cocky kid from 101 in Ol' Five Dog's heart. But I'll give him room in one of my other organs. Perhaps the pancreas.

My Story
Kiddies, grab some popcorn or a soft blanket, because I have a story to tell! My Story! I was born last in Megaton. My parents were Sand Dog, my father, and Sun Kitten, my mother. Or, as Three Dog puts it:
 * "I was born from the Sun and have Sand in my veins!"

Anyway, kids, my life really began when I was 10. One Dog had left for Rivet City to join the Rivet City Security Force. Two Dog was old enough to leave but decided to live in Megaton, he loved that scrap heap. Three Dog was gathering supplies for a trip to the D.C. ruins, he was 16 so he was going to GNR to learn the basics for many, many years. Only recently, Three Dog has taken full control. Four Dog went somewhere far north. He said he was going to a "lush, green, paradise." Yeah right! He said he would send us a message using Crazy Wolfgang as his messenger. A few years ago, though, Wolfgang reported that he had been captured by slavers. When she heard this, good ol' momma hired a contingent of Brotherhood troops to raid Paradise Falls. He was not there. However, according to one of the slavers there, he had been sent to The Pitt. Kids, I don't know if this is true, but according to Brotherhood scout reports, he is now working as a slaver. That's right kids, not a slave. He goes by the name O-Dog. I refuse to believe that, Four Dog wouldn't leave us for that! Three Dog believes all of it!

So then, when I was 16, we received a messenger from Rivet City claiming that One Dog had been killed in the line of duty. He was stabbed to death by an unknown wastelander whom he caught stealing food. The wastelander was killed afterwards. By the time I was 23, Two Dog had already fallen head over heels in love with Megaton! He declared himself mayor and sheriff of Megaton. However, he didn't want to be called something silly like "Sheriff Two Dog", so he decided to change it. I think he might have read the name in some Pre-War book or something, but he came up with Lucas Simms. Yep, that's what he calls himself now! He even adopted a son! His name is Harden.

I had nothing going on in my life up until now. I decided I would leave Megaton and live somewhere else! Megaton was always Two Dog's pad, One Dog digged Rivet City, Four Dog had his forced place up at The Pitt and Three Dog pretty much had the whole Capital Wasteland listening to his show. I decided I needed a place of my own. I chose the Core Region. Simple. Easy to remember.

So I ended up way out there hosting my radio show and spreading the word of the Good Fight! One Dog died in Rivet City, Two Dog became Sheriff Lucas Simms in Megaton, Three Dog resides at and runs GNR, and Four Dog is apparently a "Slaver". And what happened to my parents, you ask? Kids, Dear old Ma 'n' Pa have passed away, but they still live on! In the Dogs! That's it kiddies!

And now some music! It's Roy Brown with Mighty, Mighty Man! Enjoy, children!

News Update
So we've all heard about that special guy out there in New Vegas, right? 'Course you have, kiddies. So this guy, this Courier, is doing all sorts of crazy and awesome stuff out there in the Mojave like there's no tomorrow. Some might say he's like a man possessed, doing extremely influential things left right and centre! Almost as good as the Capital Wasteland's very own 101.

But you know what, kiddies? Mr. Mojave Courier has dropped clean off the radar. Where's he gone? What happened? Will my mail still arrive in time? Well kids, have you ever heard of.. the Sierra Madre? The unopened, untainted, untouched treasure trove of Pre-War gadgets, goodies and doo-dads? That's right. Novac residents reported spotting some kind of Super Mutant dragging Mr. Courier in the direction of the alleged Sierra Madre. Could that be true? Is the Sierra Madre really just one big Super Mutant trap? Is our friendly neighbourhood Courier gone for good? No one knows, kiddies. No one knows.

Whatever you do, children, don't try and barge in there to the rescue. The Sierra Madre is your grave waiting to be dug. Steer clear. Reports of unkillable "Ghost People" have kept coming in about the Sierra Madre and even some reports about invulnerable shadows.... If anyone can survive, it's not you - it's Mr. Mojave Express himself! Well, actually, the Super Mutant, but we can still hope that our Package-Carrying Hero will return from the clutches of the Sierra Madre!

And now, some music....

Quote of the Day
'''Calm is what you have to be when people look to you. And it's all you can be when things are out of your hands.''' -- James Hsu

Previous 10 quotes

 * 1) You ain't pissing on me right now, you're pissing on the Bear. -- Lee Oliver.
 * 2) We don't have to dream that we're important. -- Mr. House.
 * 3) Movin' on. --Mr. New Vegas.
 * 4) It is useful that you happened by. --Vulpes Inculta
 * 5) Overt flirtation will get you everywhere, you know. --Arcade Gannon.
 * 6) Unlike the good ambassador, I don't intend to blink. --Cassandra Moore.
 * 7) How about a yee-haa for law and order in the fine town of---error, token not found. --Primm Slim.
 * 8) You take out a debt, it's only a matter of time before someone comes collecting. --Craig Boone.
 * 9) A sober woman might take insult at that. Me, I might just bust you one. --Cass.
 * 10) This is as close as I get until you turn into a leggy brunette. --Veronica Santangelo.

Say Hi Before Goodbye
Before you leave, kids, Five Dog would appreciate it if you would take spare a few seconds to say hi. So please children, leave a note before you leave.


 * 1) Obviously, I, Five Dog, have been here. So I will be first. Cool page, Five Dog! Thanks Five Dog! -Five Dog 17:55, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice page Five Dog--LuckyShades 13:00, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Hey, I'm signing this thing, bro. LOLZ--NonExistant 18:09, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Interesting page. But funny too. :D Leea 17:56, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job on this page, Five Dog. OverLord of Chaos 23:52, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Very nice user page, got to say. That guy ripped you off, though. He stole stuff from my page, too. Anyway, cool page. Check mine out if you've got the time. TunnelSnake 22:56, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Hi before goodbye! DragonJTS 19:12, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Heh. Nice page, man! Keep up the mighty fine work! AngryNorwegianDude 08:41, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Heeeey. Nice work. Fat Man Spoon 15:19, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Nice pad you've got here, keep fighting the good fight! May Zen guide your hand, Wanderer Lao 23:39, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Hey, haha funny stuff... Keep fighting the good fight man!-- CaptainHate
 * 1) Nice page,but your one on the L4D wikia is better. Captain TattyBoJangles Care to talk? 11:20, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Ello man! How are you?--Andrew LePage 20:58, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Is it true someone left vault 101? I just don't believe it--CheesePlant 00:03, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) This place is more hoppin' and-a-boppin' than a fat cat in a zoot suit!--&quot;I&#39;m Concerned that I&#39;m Worse than Life&quot; 04:25, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) I'm Torgo, I take care of the place when the Master is away. Big McLargeHuge 04:40, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Hi Five! <3 Jo the Marten  ♠  ( Shriek )  ಠ_ಠ  00:32, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Once upon a time, Five Dog was but a man... ~ Gardimuer { ʈalk } 19:35, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Keep fighting the good fight!--Anaconda852 19:46, February 23, 2010 (UTC)

Till next time Kiddies!