User:Yes-Man/Ask Marcus

"Ask Marcus"

- Answer to all your problems

Ask Marcus constitutes a philosophical answer concerning all of life's unanswerable questions. Questions such as where do we come from? What are we? And where are we going? Questions without a proper answer can all be replied with two simple words - Ask Marcus.

Background
Marcus is the wise super mutant caretaker of a community known as Broken Hills. Although he was once an angry soul, his anger soon subsided to a mellow understanding of all things big and small. Whenever a super mutant needed a question to be answered, they would be met with the reply: Ask Marcus. The phrase soon became known throughout the wastes as something that could answer any question, no matter what the nature of it was. Who started the Great War? Ask Marcus. Is there civilisation outside the Wasteland? Ask Marcus. Why is that Courier hoarding coffee mugs? Ask Marcus. Soon, all would flock from as far as the DC Wasteland to see the great Marcus. Ghouls, humans and mutants all went to share in the glorious knowledge of Marcus.

But after a while, Marcus was sad to see how they fought over their questions and the true nature of Marcus' existentialism and philosophy. He headed off to Jacobstown in the Mojave Wasteland, never to be heard of again. Legends of Marcus still exist, but the answer still remains. Ask Marcus.

Philosophy
The philosophy itself can be described as a way of answering a question which has no definite answer. Ask a question and you're sure to get an answer, no matter what the nature of it is. Although Ask Marcus may be cryptic and complex to some, it is a very simple philosophy which can be applied to any everyday situation. Examples for this are 'Will the Courier appear in another Fallout title?', which can be answered simply with those two magic words.

Do not hesitate to Ask Marcus anything. Feel free to leave a question below and he may get back to you.

Ask Marcus
Feel free to leave a question for Marcus, and he will try to get back to you.
 * Q: What if Marcus encounters a question even he cannot answer?
 * A: Then you would know that you weren't really asking Marcus, wouldn't you?


 * Q: If a vandal spams a page, and no one is around to report him, does he still spam?
 * A: The answer is in the question, my boy. If a vandal spams a page, he has spammed it nonetheless. However, the question is redundant seeing as there will always be someone there to report the vandal.


 * Q: Why is marcus competely useless and not answering my question?
 * A: Patience is a perk. And you did not choose it.


 * Q: Is anything strong enough to stop the Bronies Battle cattle?
 * A: Unfortunately, no. They are too large in numbers, and vicious in their beliefs. They would sooner nail a man to a cross than go against their values. I warn you, beware the Bronies Battle cattle!


 * Q: What happens after Marcus dies? Super mutants live considerable longer than humans but they aren't immortal.
 * A: That is the beauty of the philosophy. Even after my death, the answer can still live on. If there are any questions which are left unanswered, then the reply will always be Ask Marcus.


 * Q:Will Yes-Man ever become a real boy, or a girl if he has to get discount?
 * A: Who is this Yes-Man you speak of? I do not know of any Yes-Men. It's just me, Marcus.


 * Q:I know your Marcus, I'm talking about Yes-Man, that weird robot that lives in my cupboard, surly you've heard of him?
 * A: Ah, yes. That wonderfully smart, handsome robot. He is the paragon of all robots. Anyway, enough facts. Yes, one day, he will become a real boy. Let's only hope he understands that he cannot jump from body to body when he dies.


 * ''Q: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
 * A: The answer is three.


 * ''Q: Why does the Courier almost die when he gets shot in the head, but when he got shot with a hunting shotgun in the head yesterday, at Zion he only gets a crippled head?
 * A: Because luckily, one well administered stimpack can miraculously heal debilitating injuries, even if you've just been hit with a miniature nuclear missile. Unfortunately for the Courier, he had no stimpacks available, so he had to wait until he reached a doctor.


 * Q: If an Anon dies in the words and no-ones around to see it does an angel still get it's wings?
 * A: ... yes.


 * ''Q: What do you suggest Marcus? A shiny Gatling Laser or a rusty CZ57 Avenger?
 * A: Marcus would suggest that violence is wrong. If that doesn't work, then take the Avenger.


 * ''Q: Do you consider yourself more handsome than other super mutants?
 * A: You know what they say, beauty is merely skin deep. So yes, I'm a damn supermodel.


 * ''Q: How does the Lone Wanderer kill a behemoth so easily when he just got out of the vault, but a paladin of the brotherhood can't kill a radscorpion, even with years of training?
 * A: Because the Paladin uses his head, not his heart. Also, because Bethesda uses the Gamebryo engine, not something that hasn't been around for the last 100 years.


 * ''Q: How can a lowly package courier single handedly win a war that neither elite NCR snipers, robots, or the Legate himself couldn't?
 * A: Who said he was always a lowly package courier? His past is mysterious... who knows what kind of life he led before taking that fateful job?


 * ''Q: Might you tell me anything about The Forecaster? Are his abilities in anyway related to yours?
 * A: That kid just makes shit up to scam caps off people. Don't go to him, come to me. Now, that will be 10 caps...


 * ''Q: Can I marry Miss Fortune?
 * A: You can, but I doubt it would last seeing as she's never around.


 * ''Q: Marcus how does the enclave lose to two people who don't have ANY training whatsoever, even though they train they're solders very well, and have advanced power armor and weapons?
 * A: You again? Haven't you already asked me this question!?


 * Q: How can two sides of America, the East Coast and the West Coast, Make similar looking mutants? Such as the Super mutants and centaurs, how do they both turn out the same if one is made with FEV and the other with VATS?
 * A: I know, not all Super Mutants can be as handsome as me. However seeing as we are all made from humans, the evolution can really only go one way. Regardless of wether we were made by the Master or by each other, all Super Mutants are created in the same way. Therefore, it is natural that we come out looking similar.


 * Q: how long can a super mutant or ghoul live?
 * A: Life in the wasteland is short. Most of the times, us mutants or our fellow ghouls are shot dead by couriers or people who wander alone.


 * ''Q: Was the Courier Chuck Norris before the events of Fallout New Vegas?
 * A: Canonically, yes. Only Chuck Norris can survive two bullets to the face and still have the tenacity to destroy entire armies.


 * ''Q: How come water, food and Nuka-Cola are irradiated but alchohol and chems have no rads?
 * A: Because you're too high to even notice the radiation poisoning.


 * ''Q: If I was in the middle of nowhere, mortally wounded with no stimpaks, food or water, what should I do?
 * A: You should do the best you can.


 * ''Q: Would people in the Capital Wasteland or Core Region accept Sunset Sarsaparilla caps as currency?
 * A: One would assume it would be like trying to use dollars in China. It's still money, just of a different value.


 * Q: Oh Marcus, how are you so smart?
 * A: Intelligence is relative, dear child.


 * Q: Can I find your answers to my questions on the internet?
 * A: Yes you can. Right here.


 * Q: Which is the preferable search engine, Google or Ask Marcus?
 * A: Ask Marcus, definitely.


 * Q:Does the set of all those sets that do not contain themselves contain itself?
 * A: They do not contain themselves. As you just said, they "do not contain themselves" so how could it contain itself? I rest my case


 * Q:Can people find wisdom in your answers to their questions?
 * A: Only if they truly look hard enough.


 * Is this philosophy helpful in all possible ways?
 * A: The value of an answer depends on the value of the question.


 * ''Q:How is Dogmeat (Fallout) in Fallout 2 even though the Vault Dweller mentioned that he died in a force-field accident?
 * A: The animal never said it was Dogmeat, rather the human named it as such. Does this make it the same dog? I'll let you figure it out.


 * ''Q:Have you ever slept with Tabitha? If you refuse to answer this question or don't answer it at all then that means yes you have slept with her.
 * A: I did indeed sleep with Tabitha, and it was great.


 * Q:Are Super Mutants and Ghouls immortal?
 * A: As long as you don't fill them with lead, they do live for a very long time.


 * Q: Is it true that Nuka-Cola Quantum tastes like watered down water?
 * A: I believe it tastes like getting punched in the head. Us Mutants don't partake in Nuka Cola drinking like you humans do, so I have no personal experience on this phenomena.