Forum:Moments of Absurdity



I witnessed an interesting spectacle involving a Metro Protectron. I had chanced upon one and managed to activate it. The thing immediately demanded to see my metro pass, which lucky for me I had just picked up out of the adjacent desk, so I showed it to him and he walked out of the room. I put down the controller and took a bite of my sandwich. A short while later I overheard it asking someone for a ticket out in the hallway, then heard a super mutant shout: "WHHHAAAT!???!" Lasers were fired, I heard bashing noises and an explosion, then the arms of the robot came flying back into the room I was in! I snorted soda I laughed so hard ;) AshRandom (Talk) 23:01, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Hahahahahaha. i wonder if that was random or something the developers did.--AHAB 00:04, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

LMAO! I can imagine the look on it's face when some robot asks for a ticket. DipCheese 02:35, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

I just rescued those little shits from Paradise Falls. When they were running away I decided I might shoot one, so I whipped out my Blackhawk and clipped Penny in the butt. So she turns around and goes "Cool! Can I try?" DipCheese 12:20, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

I was playing around with an enclave trooper and i had a sledge i knocked his weapon out of his hands, he went to pick it up and at that time i used vats to whack his butt and he flew a few in the air and did a roll....also he died Mr snip 23:52, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Hahaha that's awesome. it's normal for metro protectrons to ask everyone for tickets (that's why I keep plenty on me and activate them to they can kill raiders and stuff for me) it's just awesome the view/timing you had. - Ashran111 05:33, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

LOL! Let's see....Once I, along with Charon, were trying to blow up Jerico (I hate that man with a PASSION!). So I put on my Chinese Stealth Armor, picked his pocket, stuck a live grenade in there. In about two seconds, very loudly, he yelled "PINEAPPLE!!!!!!" Charon at that time said "whoa.....". Even my Mom laughed!--Ghouliegirl 01:46, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

In the Rivet City science lab, the researchers calmly watched as I went to Dr. Zimmer, got my reward from him and then blew his head off. I had permission from security, but still... After that I put him on one of the tables they were working at, and piled some data clipboards and coffe mugs on him for good measure. One of them only commented "You're easily amused, aren't you?" If you decide to go on a rampage through RC and enter the same lab, they sometimes start out standing in front of their experiments, holding their hair and shouting "this is hopeless"! Reminds me of my lab. :D

i encountered two enclave troppers,doing pushups,but one of them was lying still while the other was on top "pushing up",i laughed so hard at this that i didnt care about the super mutant master behind me Werewolfhell 16:35, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

When Zimmer was talking to the lab asistant I blew Zimmers' Bodygaurd's head off he fell to the floor in front of both of them and they kept on talking.KTO! Oh, and a dead Super Mutant was killed by the Talon Company but standing upright halfway through a wall twitching.



i once saw a deathclaw yao guai giant radscorpian robobrain and a protectron having a fight figuring a fight like this is a farly rare occourance i proceded to watch and was utterly surprised when the protectron came out the victor --Killer of death 00:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC) - In one of the sub metro stations I overheard supermutants chatting about who and what they were befor the bomb dropped, one mutant was going on about how he couldnt remeber but he thought he may have been a woman! I kacked myself silly, and let them live a little longer. http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/User:WhotL

Yesterday i fast travelled to Reclining Groves Resort home, can't remember why, but found myself in the biggest pile-up i've ever seen, two radscorpians, a molerat, three enclave soldiers, three talon mercs and four raiders. of course, I spawned right in the middle of them. the annoying thing was that i was wearing chinese stealth armour, but didnt crouch Flying Dagger 16:19, 2 February 2009 (UTC)

Hmmm. I went to the Republic of Dave with no idea what it was, when I had that "You Gotta Shoot 'Em In The Head" quest. I went in, found Dave, told him about it, he said I had one hour to leave unless i paid him. I gave him my hunting rifle as payment (I had just looted it off of a super mutant, so it was in very poor condition). I then pulled out my sniper rifle and shot him in the head, when I realized he was the one for the quest. I looted him and got my hunting rifle back, but it was in perfect condition! I lost no karma and, although one of his "loyal subjects" walked into the room as I shot him, she did not become hostile. I then opened his safe and got his custom hunting rifle, and talked to the girl. She still had no idea Dave was dead, but she took the custom rifle from me! I tried pickpocketing for the very first time, when I had never devoted points to the sneak skill. I successfully stole my custom rifle back, and she did not notice, so there was STILL noone shooting at me. I had already had everyone vote, so they were all in the building with me, and acted as if Dave was still alive and in charge.

Also, not really funny but odd, is how the NPCs don't always have new dialouge after something happens. For instance, in Megaton, I took on the quest to disarm the bomb. That guy in the tavern offered to pay me for rigging it to explode, but I declined his offer and told the sheriff about him. The sheriff ran in, tried to arrest him, got shot and died. I shot the other guy and then went to disarm the bomb. After I did, I talked to his son. His son was very sad that his dad had been killed, but gave me the key to my house. I tried out other dialouge options, and it seemed he was in denial. When I asked where I could get something to eat, he said something along the lines of "Try (whatever the restaurant is called), my dad and I eat there all the time!".

The all-time best, however, has to be simply turning on the radio and listening to Yankee Doodle while blowing apart hordes of enemies. It is just such happy, lighthearted music to listen to in the middle of a postapocolyptic wasteland.

I was out exploring in the north and came across the 3 sat dish array. I snuck around looking for a door in and when I found one I opened it only to be faced with a solid brick wall behind it and some raider graffitti that said F*** OFF - heh heh I had to pause the game while I laughed hard over that one --Mighty Quinn 20:04, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

I came across the raider group beating the naked guy, and just to see how they'd react, I joined in with Fawkes' Super Sledge. They weren't happy, but when I'd killed all but one of them, the last fella did a runner. I chased him down all the way to Rockbreakers Last Gas, and found him in a fistfight with a Deathclaw, and a gang of Enclave soldiers. Then the super mutants showed up with miniguns. They were followed by an Outcast patrol (I don't where they came from). I got a chance to sit back and watch the fireworks. Odd as it seems, the raider was the only one left alive, so I chased him up the cliffs, and off the cliffs (had to nudge him when he started crouching). Run4urLife! 23:00, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

i came upon the talon camp near Arlington and saw a super mutant fighting the talon and then they step on the mines i had set earlier and body parts going flying. awesome! 00:35, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

WHen obliterating megaton wihth a railway rifle,i pinned a lot of them through the genitials,so i leave and go to rivet city,i turn off tlc and plan to fly to tenpenny tower,but look down over megaton,re enter it,then fly back up,to my suprise the bloody gibs of all the people ahd formed to make a "FUCK YOU!" sign.Werewolfhell 15:43, 18 February 2009 (UTC)


 * While looting a gas-filled room, I turned around to see Jericho smoking a cigarette. I actually flinched, then laughed my butt off. Thecrystalcrow 03:58, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I was traveling to tenpenney tower from Megaton. While passing under a highway something fell from above. It appeared to be a series of off-white lines spinning and bouncing in midair so fast that I could not make out what it was. The object hovered, bounced, blurred, and occasionally came close enough to be for the 'E) loot' option to appear for a fraction of a second. I hung around trying to loot it whenever it came close enough to the ground. Suddenly it warped into a dead wastelander in off-white clothes and promptly flew about 100-200 feet away. Of course I ran after and looted it. Making my way up the highway I found other dead wastelanders as well as the Yao Guai that had apprectly caused all of this.--Dreaming Chimera 21:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)


 * I stopped by the 9th Circle to pick up Charon's contract from Ahzrukhal (after getting Jericho killed). Charon blew Ahzrukhal's head off, and one of the female ghouls said, "Man, you're harshing my buzz! Minus 5 points". I almost fell off the sofa laughing.
 * I Picked up the Bloody Mess Perk for the first time, and was targeting a Giant Radscorpion just north of the Dunwich Building. I had it timed (or so I thought) that the last shot would bring the scorp sliding dead right at my feet. Instead, the last shot blew the hell out of the scorpion and the main body flew over my head and way over the hill behind me, while legs and tail parts fell around me like hail. Thecrystalcrow 05:36, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

In one of my saves, the random encounter at Alexandria Arms was a wandering scavenger. I wound up killing him and looting his gear. Now, whenever I fast-travel to Alexandria Arms, I hear an incessant flopping noise, like a fish flopping around on dry land. It took me a while to discover the source... but it turns out it's the body of the scavenger! His head remains stationary on the ground while his limbs flop around spasmodically and his entire body rotates around his head. It sort of looks like a cross between breakdancing and having a seizure. Some Sort 06:40, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

After the vault 112 quest i left with dad for rivet city i walked some of the way then fast traveled but while i was walking we came across a radscorpion dad said something along the lines of 'if thats the way you want it!' and we started beating down on the scorpion with tire irons gangland style. while beating the scorp down further dad said 'i've come all this way wih so much work and you think im going to let you get in my way?' the funny part i thought was that he was talking to a scorpion and after he aid that he was knocked unconsious Mr snip 09:30, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

--

It's not usually a moment of absurdity, but where ever there's a car pile i usually like to set one on a fire and watch a massive chain reaction of explosions and radiation. Great way to deal with some annoying enemies if they happen to be nearby. =] Happy Gaming Xdarkdragonx 19:37, 28 February 2009 (UTC) Dragon

flooded metro pile up with mirv. BOOM!Maccy Man the man with no plan. 23:35, 28 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Today I was back in the Yao Guai Tunnels, and there is a dead Brahmin that is back by the pool with the dead Wastelander floating in it. Well, this time, the dead Brahmin appeared embedded halfway through the cave floor, with its butt sticking up in the air...and of course it was twitching and flopping, twitching and flopping.... Thecrystalcrow 02:39, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

thats what always happens for me in the deathclaw sanctuary.Maccy Man the man with no plan. 23:41, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

When I was walking around, a body with the wasteland survival guide and a missle launcher fell from the sky. I guess handling explosives wasn't included in the book.

I was sneaking around backwards because I was distracted. When I turn around, an overlord's ass is right on my face. But what made my day was that there was a gas leak in the area and two dead radroaches (silent but deadly). I couldn't stop laughing.

Mel the mugger tried holding me and Jericho up with what was apparently an unloaded sawed off shotgun. Jerico was wearing power armor and carrying a minigun, and I had literally just picked up the alien blaster - I was barely out of the crash site's radiation zone. I picked the [intelligence] dialog option where he ends up apologizing and admitting that he's embarrassed because he's out of shells. I could have turned him into an ash pile, but instead left him cowering, unarmed, in the middle of the wasteland. Imp of the Perverse 09:20, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

My story is a culmination of absurd and epic. I was watching my buddy play, and he was up in the Northwest corner (not near the Deathclaw Sanctuary, mind you) of the map, just wandering. Suddenly, a Deathclaw approaches, but is soon crippled by his Dart Gun. With his Dart Gun still out, a second Deathclaw comes out from some rocks behind the first Deathclaw. Crippled just like the first. While he is killing the pair in funny ways, a third Deathclaw dives out from between the two, ("Oh, c'mon!" we say) who is also crippled. I then proceed to say "Wouldn't it be hilarious if a fourth--" and before I can finish my sentence, a fourth Deathclaw comes from behind to kill his character. Butcher Pete 05:15, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * That reminds me of the first time I fast traveled to the deathclaw sanctuary after installing Broken Steel. Not only was I immediately attacked by three or four deathclaws, but both them and myself were on fire from the hellfire troops the deathclaws had initially been attacking.  Luckily I was carrying close to 500 stimpacks, which in and of itself is pretty absurd. Imp of the Perverse 19:13, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

I was inside Operation anchorage and decided to kill the quartermaster for his extra winterized combat armor. Benji saw me and turned hostile, then everyone else in the camp turned against him. I just went back to the health dispenser as I watched immortal NPCs fight it out.

Near Alexandria Arms I was attacked by the sniper from a four story building, but three Talon Mercs or Regulators showed up(can't remember which) and went for the sniper. They walked through the six mines near the entrance but were not killed, and they set off the log trap at the doorway. I checked upstairs and found two were killed from the bear traps, and the mine under a box. The final one took out the raider but was killed by the laser turret.lol.kill the overseer!

I once had a fist fit with a deathclaw becuase I was bored.

I had a similar experience to the original poster. i activated a protectron and before ghe left the room i overheard 2 super mutants having a conversation. One says "i've been thinking and it hurts, make it stop!" The other says "about what?" The first replies "a woman, ow it hurts!, i remember a woman...wait, maybe I was a woman! ow make it stop!" By that time the protectron comes out and starts asking for tickets and they start laughing "hehehe stupid robot, lets bash his head" and they fight. The thinking about the woman thing was hilarious.Statesofeuphoria 18:43, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

There is one conversation that is even funnier. It goes like this:

Super Mutant 1: You again! What do you want?

Super Muntant 2: I have... a joke. Wanna hear?

SM1: OK then.

SM2: Knock knock

SM1: Who's there?

SM2: Humans.

SM1: Humans who?

SM2: KILL THE HUMANS! KILL! AAAAAAAARGH!!!!

SM1: HAHAHAHAHA... *coughs* HAHAHAHAHAHA.... Funny! HAHAHAHAHAH!

Epic. AngryNorwegianDude 19:39, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

I went completely ape$#!# with mods, starting with XFO for a higher difficulty and basic needs (you have to eat, sleep, and drink regularly), then FOOK, which adds a few hundred weapons and sets of armor, along with making enemies more difficult, then Phalanx to let me have as many followers as I want, along with a handy interface for managing them, then Mart Mutant Mod - Increased Spawns and Zones respawn (it doubles or triples the number of enemies that spawn, and makes them continue to respawn just about everywhere), in an attempt to re-balance the game against my small army. Stepping out into the mall is now as much fun as reclaiming project purity.

I then decided to escort dad from Vault 112 to Rivet City, rather than just fast traveling. The shear volume of enemies he decided to pick a fight with, rather than avoid - all the while repeating "I had hoped this wouldn't be necessary" while swinging a tire iron - was astounding. Something like 40 raiders, a few packs of wild dogs, 10 rad scorpions, 5 sentry bots, 3 deathclaws, 8 yao gwai, a dozen assorted super mutants, and an overlord. And he never once stopped to ask me for a better gun. Imp of the Perverse 08:03, 25 June 2009 (UTC) i was fighting a SM and he yelld at me im going to eat your brains--Xxuberdood 16:55, 25 June 2009 (UTC)