Fallout 76 perk jokes

Each perk package you receive in Fallout 76 contains a joke printed on the wrapper.

List

 * Joke #1: ''Cram walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve food!”
 * Joke #2: ''A Mister Handy walks into a bar. “Ouch!” he yells.
 * Joke #3: ''Best post-war pizza? Extra cheese, hold the mushroom cloud.
 * Joke #4: ''I have the world’s worst thesaurus. It’s terrible and terrible.
 * Joke #5: ''Cop asked for my license. Told him I wasn’t married.
 * Joke #6: ''Thay sey speling iz a losst ahrt.
 * Joke #7: ''Burrito finishes directing a movie. Says, “That’s a wrap!”
 * Joke #8: ''What’s a blind fashion designer’s favorite color? Corduroy.
 * Joke #9: ''Hear about the lost pharaoh? He just wanted his mummy.
 * Joke #10: ''Hear about the drunk Mr. Handy? He can’t hold his whine.
 * Joke #11: ''Kid is in the backseat of a time machine: “Are we then yet?”
 * Joke #12: ''Why did Vault Boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
 * Joke #13: ''You hear about the unsharpened spear? It was pointless.
 * Joke #14: ''How do you call a shark to dinner? “Man overboard!”
 * Joke #15: ''Can’t get through to the funeral parlor? Maybe the line’s dead.
 * Joke #16: ''Tip: Never offer an Anchorage veteran a cold drink.
 * Joke #17: ''Marry a cardiologist. They’re all heart!
 * Joke #18: ''Yo momma’s so fat… she really should see a doctor. I’m concerned.
 * Joke #19: ''Hear about the eraser who turned gangster? He got rubbed out.
 * Joke #20: ''Peanut asks a grape out on a date. Grape says, “You’re nuts!”
 * Joke #21: ''The balloon postponed his wedding. Now it’s up in the air.
 * Joke #22: ''Hear about Santa’s stand-up comedy act? He sleighed.
 * Joke #23: ''Dracula caught a really bad cold. He just couldn’t stop coffin.
 * Joke #24: ''Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn’t water them, they died.
 * Joke #25: ''You know how to make fondue? That’s a crock.
 * Joke #26: ''Tree walks into a bar. “I’ll have a root beer.”
 * Joke #27: ''“Talk is cheap,” said no lawyer ever.
 * Joke #28: ''Hitman says to the calendar, “Your days are numbered.”
 * Joke #29: ''My wife loves a man in uniform. His name is Roger.
 * Joke #30: ''Best way to have a clean conscience? Never use it.
 * Joke #31: ''If I had a nickel for every failed math test, I’d have 97 cents.
 * Joke #32: ''A brave man robbed the zoo. He had the heart of a lion.
 * Joke #33: ''Olga’s just like a Russian doll. So full of herself.
 * Joke #34: ''Protectron says to an Army recruiter, “I’ve got the mettle!”
 * Joke #35: ''Hear about the man who asked out an Assaultron? You never will.
 * Joke #36: ''Proper use of a comma is very, important.
 * Joke #37: ''Popular ghost says to the unpopular ghost, “Get a life!”
 * Joke #38: ''How did Joan lose 240 pounds? She got a divorce.
 * Joke #39: ''If you love TV, get a remote control. It changes everything.
 * Joke #40: ''Rabbit says to the hedgehog, “Can’t you share?”
 * Joke #41: ''Christine broke her neck 6 years ago. She never looked back.
 * Joke #42: ''Hear about the poor Easter egg who fell off a counter? He dyed.
 * Joke #43: ''Dyslexia have might you think you do?
 * Joke #44: ''Worst helicopter pilot ever? Got cold so he turned off the fan.
 * Joke #45: ''An idiot poured minestrone over his car. He wanted to soup it up.
 * Joke #46: ''Is it annoying when someone answers their own questions? Sure is.
 * Joke #47: ''If photons aren’t religious, then why do they have mass?
 * Joke #48: ''What do you call the time you clean and do laundry? Your day off.
 * Joke #49: ''What does an educated person call an insurance policy? Vault-Tec.
 * Joke #50: ''4 drinks in one hand plus 5 in the other equals? Alcoholism.
 * Joke #51: ''What do you call 16 men on a Dead Man’s chest? Pirate CPR.
 * Joke #52: ''What do you call a porcupine love affair? A murder suicide.
 * Joke #53: ''Bagel says to roll, "You’re the best thing since sliced bread.”
 * Joke #54: ''Rifle says to drunk revolver, “Don’t go off halfcocked.”
 * Joke #55: ''Never trust a bucket’s theories. They just don’t hold water.
 * Joke #56: ''“Knock knock!” “Go away. I hate knock knock jokes.”
 * Joke #57: ''I have short-term memory loss. I have short-term memory loss.
 * Joke #58: ''Susie turned vegetarian, but thought it was a missed steak.
 * Joke #59: ''What do you call a Vault overseer without a spouse? Irresistible.
 * Joke #60: ''What does dad hate about Father’s Day? Having to celebrate it.
 * Joke #61: ''Two antennae got married. The reception was amazing.
 * Joke #62: ''The Doberman forgot to do the dishes. Ended up in the dog house.
 * Joke #63: ''Love’s like a bullet – the exit is always the worst.
 * Joke #64: ''Hear about the ambitious executioner? Always trying to get ahead.
 * Joke #65: ''Your kid’s so ugly, the cat tries to cover him up in the sandbox.
 * Joke #66: ''An overachiever died at the blood clinic. She gave 100%.
 * Joke #67: ''Grandma went crazy on the porch. Totally off her rocker.
 * Joke #68: ''Hear about the soap addict? He’s clean now.
 * Joke #69: ''Why was Cinderella awful at bowling? She ran away from the ball.
 * Joke #70: ''4 out of 5 men suffer from hemorrhoids. That last guy loves them.
 * Joke #71: ''I gave my seat on the bus to a blind man. They fired me as driver.
 * Joke #72: ''Duck doctor says to his patient, “Full disclosure. I’m a quack.”
 * Joke #73: ''Hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De brie everywhere.
 * Joke #74: ''What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
 * Joke #75: ''What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.
 * Joke #76: ''How do you get a one-armed moron out of a tree? Wave.
 * Joke #77: ''Want to keep a cat from drowning? Take the sack out of the river.
 * Joke #78: ''What do you call the best pig in acting class? A total ham.
 * Joke #79: ''Dad is washing the Corvega with his son. Son says, “Use a sponge!”
 * Joke #80: ''Democracy asked Communism out on a date. “Are you free?”
 * Joke #81: ''Why did the tennis player get divorced? He couldn’t accept love.
 * Joke #82: ''What’s a seahorse’s favorite sport? Water polo.
 * Joke #83: ''I’m suing the fire department. They ruined my surprise dinner.
 * Joke #84: ''Tip: Give your kids memories they don’t have to repress.
 * Joke #85: ''Kids can’t get into my house. I had it childproofed.
 * Joke #86: '' You hear about the man who sells dynamite? Business is booming.
 * Joke #87: ''Why did June become an architect? To remove the glass ceiling.
 * Joke #88: ''“Winning isn’t everything!” – Inscribed on every 2nd place trophy.
 * Joke #89: ''Hear about the werewolf prankster? He kept flashing a full moon.
 * Joke #90: ''Oscar burned 3000 calories. He accidentally left a cake in the oven.
 * Joke #91: ''You want some advice? I’m not using mine.
 * Joke #92: ''Guns don’t kill people. Technically, it’s the bullets.
 * Joke #93: ''Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a Chryslus Rocket 69…
 * Joke #94: ''Once is a mistake. Twice is problem. Seven times is a party.
 * Joke #95: ''What do you call a family of geese crossing the road? Speed bumps.
 * Joke #96: ''Trout detective walks onto a crime scene. “Something’s fishy.”
 * Joke #97: ''I woke up this morning. It was an eye-opening experience.
 * Joke #98: ''There was a mime with a price on his head. He had to be silenced.
 * Joke #99: ''What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
 * Joke #100: ''Hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.