Josh Laurence

Josh Laurence is the proprietor of the Last Gasp Saloon and Funeral Parlor in Redding in Fallout 2.

Background
Tall and thin, Laurence reflexively sizes everyone up for coffins, even if they are a long way away from the grave. Ever since his business has gained a bad rep due to the wanamingos/Mutated Pig Rats digging up buried bodies, Laurence expanded the offer of his funeral parlor and now offers drinks, competing with the Malamute Saloon. He brings a lifetime of experience into this undertaking, mostly in the form of atrocious puns.

Josh is fairly prejudiced against tribal peoples and considers them cannibals who eat their dead. Despite the fact that he rummages the corpses he buries for valuables himself, this is a grave matter and cannot be simply buried and left alone. He also has a fetish for cute dead people.

<!-- The Chosen One: "{144}{}{I think it's creepy. You're a very disturbed individual.}" Josh Laurence: "{147}{}{You call *me* creepy? Why, I hear that tribals eat their damn dead.}" The Chosen One: "{148}{}{How else could we grok their essence?}" Josh Laurence: ''"{181}{}{God-damn Martians. And I mistook you for a damn tribal. Well, don't I feel stupid. Well, cannibals is cannibals in my book.} {182}{}{Hey, we cook them first. We're not savages, you know.} {173}{}{Well, I guess as long as you cook… Hold on a gol-darned minute. That's still cannibalism! You're one sick little unit, even for a tribal.} {174}{}{Relax, Josh. I was just kidding. Heh, heh. Heck, we just cook parts of them.} {175}{}{Parts, huh? Which parts 'xactly?} {177}{}{I was just pulling your leg, Josh. Let me ask you about something else.} {183}{}{Let go of my leg, you cannibal! I need it for a good long while to come still. You find yourself another snack.} {184}{}{Relax, you look kind of tough and stringy anyhow. Heh, heh. Just kidding…mostly. Let me ask you something else, Josh.}

{175}{}{Parts, huh? Which parts 'xactly?} {176}{}{Who cares? (you shrug) Parts is parts.} {178}{}{Yeah, well I guess that makes a kind of sense.} {179}{}{Sure it does. Hey, let me ask you about something else.}

The Chosen One: "{144}{}{I think it's creepy. You're a very disturbed individual.}" Josh Laurence: "{147}{}{You call *me* creepy? Why, I hear that tribals eat their damn dead.}" {150}{}{That's ridiculous. Where'd you hear that?} {151}{}{I dunno 'xactly. But it's a fact sure as fiddlin'. Why else would you all file your teeth into points? Huh? Answer me that!} {152}{}{I don't file my teeth into… Oh, never mind. Let me ask you about something else.}

{112}{}{I'd like to buy a round for everyone here.} {130}{}{That's generous of you. That'll be $50 for a round of beer for everyone here. Hey, I'm a poet and didn't know it.} {131}{}{Ouch. Puns kill, Josh. Just a friendly warning. Here's your money.} {132}{}{Hmm, that pun seems to have taken all the fun out of the idea. Let me ask you something instead.}

"'' (RCJOSH.MSG)

I don't know what the context is to the Lucretia Borgia reference

{123}{}{You'd do Lucretia Borgia proud, Josh.} {156}{}{What do ya mean by that?} {157}{}{I just meant that it seems like a rather, hmm, *unusual* combination.} {139}{}{That it is. But I couldn't make ends meet just burying people - you might say business was dead. Oh, it was a grave matter. So I undertook the job of fixing up my place to sell drinks, too.}

{124}{}{What do I have to do to buy a coffin?} {186}{}{Need to buy the farm first. Planning on buying some real estate anytime soon?} {187}{}{Uh, not any farms anyhow. Let me ask you something else.} {188}{}{Might help someone else, or two, to buy a farm hereabouts. See you later, Josh.}

{125}{}{How do I arrange for funeral services?} {189}{}{Well, I guess you'd start by croaking someone. But I'd advise against it. Sheriff Marion isn't real keen on that kind of behavior.} {190}{}{I'll try to behave myself. Let me ask you something else, Josh.}

I don't know to whom he refers to get it out of here. {116}{}{I ain't servin' that.} {117}{}{Take your *friend* outside.} {118}{}{This ain't no damn freak-show. Get that out of here.} {119}{}{That ain't coming into my place.} {120}{}{We don't serve that kind here. Get out.}

Could this be the retarded responses? {103}{}{Get on out of here.} {104}{}{What the heck are you doing here, idjit?} {105}{}{This place ain't for you.} {106}{}{Go on now. Git, ya dang idjit!} {107}{}{Get out before you mess up the floor.} -->

Effects of player actions

 * If the player has a Grave Digger reputation, Josh will refuse to have anything to do with them.
 * An intelligent player character can remark that Josh's establishment would do Lucretia Borgia proud.
 * Asking how he knows the bodies don't have anything valuable on them will result in him giving the Chosen One a beer.

Appearances
Josh Laurence appears only in Fallout 2.

Behind the scenes
In regards to Josh Laurence's sense of humor in his unique profession, mortician/bartender of the Last Gasp Saloon and Funeral Parlor, the Chosen One can tell him that he finds him creepy. In response Josh Laurence, offended, makes a comment about tribals eating their dead, to which the Chosen One can remark "How else could we grok their essence?". This is an allusion to Grok in the 1961 science-fiction novel, Stranger in a Strange Land.